#And that he was also really into herbal pain relief

[mothykins]

Yeah, what you're looking for is a Physio-Therapist. They're the ones you generally want and they can give you exercise plans to actually help correct issues.

[squiddy-god]

Dorm leaders s/O bad period

This is another re upload, honestly, I think this is really funny because I just got off of my period and I wanted to die actually, because it was so bad

CW : period stuff, slightly suggestive joke on malleus and Leona, fluff, established relationship, at this point, they have all kind of tried to kill us, this is the least they can know. Kalim is the exception- no pronouns gn! Reader

Riddle 

He saw the slight red stain and had 0 clue what it was so he just marches up and informs you you are breaking the rules by having a stain on your pants

Instant regret when he sees the pure panic in your eyes

He thought it was him until you explain

Instantly gives his uniform blazer and walks you to the mirrors so you can change at ram shackle

Apologises a lot for almost giving you a heart attack

Poor boy really had no clue

9/10 caused a heart attack but helped 

Riddle us very concerned when he sees you puking and passing out from the intensity of your period

He just wants the best for you so he definitely has pain killers on hand 

He's a bit stiff and awkward but he is definitely much more lenient during bad periods

9/10 awkward and stiff but a great help

Leona 

He could smell the blood but thought nothing of it (🥺submissive and breadable?) 

Then he saw you and the tell-tale red stain. 

For all my slander he's a somewhat good boy, after all he dose immediately go help you

Drags you off and tells you discretely, before helping you to the dorm 

This will happen much less with Leona because he can pretty much tell before you get your period

When he knows your about to start he stocks up on snacks 

He knows how bad it gets for you so he's pretty much giveing you a free pass to laze about with him and sleep for a week

If you get cramps he has Ruggie get a heating pad lmao

10/10 pretty good honestly

Azul 

At first he thought it was ink- no no don't laugh he's serious! He also sometimes had/has issues with this kind of thing as a kid and assumed that it was that

Immediately tells you about the "ink stain" and hands over his blazer to tie around your waist

The moment you say it's your period his mind is in overdrive

After this first incident azul is,,, prepared

Has spare pants on hand, marks down your cycle, and always has a spare pad/tampon pt.1 

Most of the animal like boys will either smell or sense that it's about to happen, azul can just tell, but he also keeps track

This man 💀 

Infinite cuddles, you feel awful and bad and in pain? Here lay down with him for a second while he holds a heat pad against your back and Coos at you

Best for snacks, has all the snacks 

Also brews pain relief potions to mix with tea so you can relax 

10918637/10 ask and you shall receive. the price? Kisses. 

Kalim 

No thoughts not a single thought when he sees the stain, he tells you because he's nice and your his s/O

Gos "oh" when you say it's your period. Then panics a bit

Definitely takes you back to scarabia and gets you a change of clothing

Kalim is very sweet to be around the entire time! 

He loves you and will do literally anything just ask

It's comfy and warm in scarabia, he makes his bed into a pillowy blanket nest and feeds you fresh fruit and snacks

102884/10 holds your hair back when you puke 

Vil 

Immediately knows what happened and tells you right away

Gets you to the dorm and let's you change so you can feel comfortable

Vil could spot a stain from a mile away so chances are only he saw it 

Pt 2 of has spare pants, marks down cycle, and always has products on hand. 

Vil is nothing if not prepared for this! 

Ok when it gets bad and you find it hard to stand and sit due to pain vil calls you over and lays you down on you stomach to rub your back

Magic hands

His back massages are god sent and blessed by the 7 stg they make the pain melt and your back jelly

Herbal tea and remedies of any kind are in hand

Looking miserable in the halls and about to throw up? Look no further just drink what he gives you and pain goes away 

19377/10 magic hands and magic potions to treat you right

idia

Idia is better than one would expect

Chances are he either catches it before you leave his room or its ortho, who catches it in the halls

Either way, you will be informed immediately and taken to change.

Ortho always seems to have stuff on hand. What you need, whether it's some sort of pain relief or an extra pad ortho has it! 

This is because idia made sure that if he couldn't handle it you would at least not be fighting alone

Lets you spend your time during this to sleep in his room and do "online school"

Don't mention this suspicious lack of work during this time

Totally not because idia did it for you so that you could rest

Idia has always got snacks and if you're craving something, he doesn't have then he will brave the outside world and go get some from the vending machine

9/10 flustered but a good boy none the less

Malleus 

Smells it pt2 (submissive and breadable 🥺 pt2) 

Malleus is instantly awhere of the situation and will quietly inform you before doing away with it using magic

Malleus can tell long before you that you are about to start and he's very good about telling you so you are prepared

If you do happen to bleed through he will hide it with magic before getting you a change of clothing

Who needs a heating pad when you have a dragon

Seriously, he's so warm. He just radiates body heat

You could honestly just snuggle up to him and it would be like having a hot water bottle

Definitely feeds you any snacks you want

The moment you feel nauseous sparkles of green light float around you and then boom, no more sickness

12/10 personal heater go brrrrrrr

[doumadono]

hey! i dont know if this counts as an emergency request or not.😭🫶

tw: puke, sickness in general

i have a really horrible flu right now. ive even reached a fever of 104😵‍💫. ive been unable to keep anything down, not even liquids. my left lung hurts to even move, and i have a horrible cough and throat achs. are you able to do a little izuku midoriya x f!reader where f!reader is sick w/ what i described.? love ya!🫶🫶

A/N: it's important to note that in cases of severe illness or medical emergency, it's best to seek immediate assistance from a medical professional. I experienced similar symptoms recently, and it turned out that I had COVID, so perhaps you should consider getting tested

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST

When Izuku sees you struggling with the flu symptoms, his heart aches for you. He's deeply concerned about your well-being and is determined to do everything he can to help you feel better.

As you cough and wince from the pain in your chest, Izuku gently rubs your back, trying to provide some comfort. He assures you that he's there for you and that you're not alone in this.

Seeing you unable to keep anything down, Izuku encourages you to try small sips of water and offers to moisten your lips with a damp cloth to help ease your discomfort. Izuku also prepares a simple and nourishing broth, carefully feeding you small spoonfuls, all the while offering encouraging words. "I know it's tough, but you need to keep your strength up. You're doing great."

He notices the feverish flush on your cheeks and immediately gets a cool compress to your forehead to help bring down your temperature, all the while expressing his worry for you.

When you shiver from the fever, Izuku wraps a warm blanket around you and sits close, gently rubbing your arms to help bring you some comfort. "I'll keep you warm, babe."

When you express how much your throat aches, Izuku brews a soothing herbal tea and carefully helps you take small sips, making sure it's not too hot.

Izuku carefully organizes your medication, setting reminders and ensuring you take each dose at the right time. "It's important to stay on top of your medication schedule. I've set up reminders for you, and I'll be here to help you with each dose."

He encourages you to rest, assuring you that he'll handle everything and that your well-being is the top priority. "You just focus on getting better. I'll take care of everything else."

As you struggle to catch your breath after a severe coughing fit, Deku gently takes your hand and rubs its top, whispering, "Just focus on the sound of my voice. You're going to be okay."

He sits beside you, softly talking about anything and everything to distract you from the discomfort, sharing stories about his day at hero work or recalling a funny memory to bring a smile to your face.

Izuku notices you're experiencing chest aches and remembers how you often find comfort using a heating pad during your period. He gently suggests, "I remember how the heating pad helps you during your period. Maybe it could provide some relief for your chest aches too. Would you like me to get it for you?"

As you struggle with the symptoms, Izuku remains by your side, holding your hand and offering words of encouragement, reminding you of your strength and resilience.

Izuku is attentive to your needs, making sure you have blankets, a comfortable pillow, and anything else that might provide relief, all the while expressing his unwavering support and care.

[wendigo-volturi]

Heyyyyy so I was wondering if you could do the volturi king’s reaction to their mate on their period with really bad cramps?

Of course! Here are some headcanons for each of the kings' reactions to their mate experiencing bad period cramps:

Aro:

- Despite his usual composed demeanor, Aro would be quite concerned and attentive towards his mate when he notices they are in pain.

- He would immediately gather information about how to help relieve their discomfort, whether it be through herbal remedies or comforting gestures.

- Aro would be sure to keep a close eye on their well-being throughout their period, ensuring they have everything they need to feel better.

- He may also use his telepathic abilities to ease their pain by distracting them with pleasant thoughts or memories.

Caius:

- Caius, being more stoic and reserved, may initially struggle to express his concern for his mate's discomfort, but his actions would speak volumes.

- He would quietly and efficiently take care of their needs, providing pain relief medication, warm blankets, and anything else they require.

- Caius would also make sure they rest and do not exert themselves during this time, insisting that they take time to recover.

- While he may not show it overtly, the depth of Caius' care and concern for his mate during this vulnerable time would be evident in his actions.

Marcus:

- Marcus, with his empathic abilities, would immediately sense his mate's pain and would feel it deeply himself, prompting him to be incredibly attentive and supportive.

- He would be a calming presence, offering comfort through gentle touches, soothing words, and a strong shoulder to lean on.

- Marcus would be understanding and patient, giving his mate the space and time they need to rest and recuperate.

- He would also be willing to adjust his plans and schedule to accommodate their needs, showing his unwavering devotion and care for his mate.

[a-hidden-hunger-blog]

Gaming Bellyache Headcanons

Might as well do this too since I can't get the sweetie pie out of my head.

Being someone who's always active, Gaming tends to eat a lot when he's not on the job.

This guy loves his dim sum, particularly char siu, but he also likes to indulge in some of Xiangling's spicy cooking.

Unfortunately, all that spiciness mixed with all the other food he's eaten does not sit well in his tummy.

It starts when he feels his belly get a little hotter than normal and it starts to bubble inside him. He knows right away it's telling him that it might be a good time to stop. Unfortunately, he gets so caught up in eating, he doesn't heed that warning very much.

Next thing he knows, his stomach is gurgling up a storm, so loudly, in fact that passersby can hear it and mistake it for thunder.

By the time, he's finished, he looks down and sees that his tummy is quite bloated, and it sounds like a boiling pot. He can actually feel it against his hand.

That's when the pain finally sets in, and he lets out these little moans as he tries to rub his tummy to get it to settle.

He also gets really bad hiccups, and occasionally, it stirs up some gas, which causes him to have burps mixed in with the hiccups, and that tends to hurt his throat just a little.

He decides to pay his tab and leave, but he doesn't head back home right away. He figures that maybe getting in some Wushou Dancing practice or just going on a delivery run might help him digest faster.

However, his boss can hear his tummy gurgling and he sees the sickly look on his face, so he urges him to go home and rest for a while. Though Gaming tries to insist he's fine, another cramp shoots through his belly and he realizes that he's in a losing battle.

The poor baby decides to go home, whimpering and moaning as he cradles his tummy. By now, just walking is a struggle for him, and his stomach rumbling and churning turns quite a few heads.

He finally makes it back home and climbs into bed. For good measure, he drinks some soothing herbal tea, which seems to finally calm his stomach down.

Then, with a sigh, he gently massages it all over, just like how mom used to do when he got a tummy ache as a little kid.

Just as he's about to fall asleep, Gaming lets out one big burp, releasing all that gas that had been building up inside him and granting him the relief he very much needed.

Now that his tummy feels a little less packed than before, he finally falls asleep...and dreams about eating more dim sum.

[hanakihan]

Some Chulwoo headcanons because why the fuck not

- both of them don’t really know when they fell in love with each other; it just happened. one moment they’re meeting purely as a hunter and a representative of KHA during one of incidents, next they’re literally living together. but truth be told it happened gradually, the more and more small meetings they had purely because of jinwoo’s (mis)adventures the more they started to learn about other. by time jinchul asked jinwoo to meet gunhee they were on close friendly terms and jinwoo easily knew how jinchul drunk (but not loved) his coffee, while jinchul knew that he and jinwoo share taste in tea. /jinwoo will never admit that his heart skipped a beat at jinchul’s relieved smile when he agreed to meet gunhee, nope. jinchul will absolutely never admit that jinwoo’s showoff in dungeon worked/

- jinwoo had a tendency to randomly appear near jinchul and thus scaring him. he ultimately stopped appearing unannounced after startled jinchul knocked him out several times with his kick or punch.

- jinwoo unironically got scared by jinchul several times after they stated to live together. first time it happened jinwoo got up to drink cocoa only to stumble in dark corridor with sleepwalking jinchul. jinchul has no idea he actually sleep walks and jinwoo doesn’t see any need in telling him so (but he’s not more careful when walking around apartment at night and makes sure his summons keep track on jinchul when it happens).

- jinwoo is one of few people that know that jinchul hates coffee but drinks it to be functional. he once brought jinchul a good cup of coffee as an apology and while jinchul’s face said nothing he saw how man’s lips slightly curved down and he had overall air of displeasure. after that jinwoo makes sure to get jinchul best brands of tea (when fucking up) or herbal tea that helps with sleep or stress relief.

- their first ‘kiss’ was absolutely not romantic. it happened after jinwoo’s awakening as monarch, angry and worried jinchul marched to jinwoo (while himself being barely allowed out of bed and having his hand in a brace) and grabbed him by hospital garb and just kept angry breathing because no words came out. man eventually gave up trying to say anything and just tiredly placed his head on jinwoo’s shoulder, jinwoo in return kissed his messy hair as a sort of comfort because he also has no words. they sat silently like that until both fell asleep in the most awkward pose.

- after that jinwoo actually found out that he likes to kiss jinchul’s hair because it’s just so fluffy and smells like citrus. first time he tried to do that after they both got out from hospital he was greeted by gel in jinchul’s hair and spent long time spitting it out.

- jicnhul accidentally found out that jinwoo is in fact a big lazy cat. he likes to be petted and scratched and has an awful tendency to lean on jinchul. he also doesn’t know what ‘personal space’ means.

- both of them are so tired and overworked they barely have time for proper meetings outside work. they even rarely spend time in each other’s apartments, but when it happens it’s usually one or both of them crashing on bed to just sleep. when things become more stable they actually buy a shared apartment because managing two separate ones is a pain.

- both of them are not morning persons, but jinchul handles it slightly better due to his working schedule. he’s still sleepy and tired but he can collect himself to get ready and even cook something easy for him and jinwoo who takes longer to get up. it’s completely reverse when jinchul knows he doesn’t need to get up early, man can sleep until lunch if someone won’t wake him up. one time it was so bad jinwoo wasn’t able to wake him up until his carried this blanket burrito to kitchen and woke him up with smell of food.

- both of them are fashion disasters, so it’s usually girls helping them out or pick casual wear. even jinwoo was actually scandalized to learn jinchul has almost to none casual wear. after girls dragged them through every cloth store jinwoo actually didn’t recognize jinchul in casual wear until jinah lost it and laughed. and then jinchul had no idea why people kept staring at him while jinwoo was annoyed people do stare at him.

- usually it’s jinchul offering jinwoo psychological comfort when jinwoo starts to fear he’s losing himself and his humanity. jinwoo can openly talk about his fears and jinchul just silently embraces him this whole time offering all the comfort he can provide. in rare instances jinchul is having a mental breakdown from work jinwoo is the one to take the burn of it, of yelling and swearing and broken furniture. he’s never angry at jinchul for that, instead offering comfort and peace when jinchul calms down and starts to regret it.

- their first actual kiss was really accidental. jinwoo leaned too much to see papers better while jinchul explained, and when jinchul turned his head jinwoo was too close so they ended up touching lips. it was really awkward because it was right in front of KHA members and gunhee.

- jinwoo knows jinchul is a really strong hunter but there’s still that irrational fear of having jinchul in a dungeon. he’s extremely happy that jinchul’s job rarely involves actual raids but when it happens he makes sure to have beru or igris to accompany him just in case.

- jinwoo never understood how exactly his animal summons ended up loving jinchul more than him. even worse is that out of them all only kamish can give any answer but dragon just huffs and proceeds to nap in jinchul’s arms like a big domestic cat after he learned how to shrunk himself. jinwoo labeled him a traitor.

- both of them try their best to not have secrets from each other. both are also self sacrificial idiots. they really try their best.

- jinchul was actually afraid of properly meeting jinwoo’s family because jinchul himself is an orphan that managed to snatch the heir of family. jinchul isn’t a coward but closer they got to door the more he wanted to run away. in the end he was warmly welcomed into family with no issues whatsoever.

- jinwoo had a crisis when he realized he actually likes when jinchul commands him. be in in daily life or in bed. especially in bed he’s more than happy to be a service top because jinchul is too tired to do anything himself.

- after sleepwalk scare fiasco jinwoo developed sleeping octopus tendencies to keep man in bed at nights. this backfired because jinchul has problems to untangle himself at mornings.

- jinchul tried to keep his relationship a secret, turns out everyone knew long time ago and placed several bets. needles to say jinchul almost murdered entire KHA stuff until betrayal from gunhee crit hit him. his own boss and father figure was the one to initiate bets. jinwoo knew but did nothing because it’s just hilarious.

- surprisingly enough they did get married, but jinwoo being jinwoo (disaster) did it any other way but not classic one. he found wedding rings in one of dungeons with insanely good stats and shared buffs. proceeded to give one to jinchul (without checking that it’s wedding rings). got them married by some outwordly weird ass way. they still have no idea how exactly it works and what more needs to be done. jicnhul theorizes they’re stuck together for life.

[ebonyclaw]

Flames Reduced to Ash: A Leafpool AU

Fanfic under the cut!

That evening, Leafpool was busier than she had been in a long time. The last time that she had felt this essential was during the aftermath of the badger invasion. Just like what had happened all those moons ago, today there were many injured clanmates for her to attend to, as well as medicinal supplies for her to gather, organize, and stockpile. Cats were brought to her choking: with lungs full of smoke, pelts full of ash, and scalding burn wounds. Their eyes were frenzied with pain and fear as she cared for each and every one of them as if they were her own kits. She soothed their pain with herbal poultices, comforting them with her soft voice and gentle touch. Due to the sheer amount of patients that she was faced with after this latest catastrophe, she kept only those with the most severe injuries in her den that night. The rest with more minor burns were sent to recover in their usual sleeping areas.

At this point, Leafpool was running dangerously low on both sleep and patience. After all, it is hard work being the ever-accommodating medicine cat of Thunderclan, especially in the wake of a disaster such as the great fire which had devastated their camp. What Leafpool really needed was a break, but for some reason, her former apprentice Jayfeather was nowhere to be found. It was now moonhigh, and the brown tabby was getting increasingly anxious.

Just as this anxiety began to stir in her mind was the silence broken by a rustling at her den entrance. Turning her head, Leafpool spotted a thick-furred ginger cat roughly shouldering her way in.

“Squirrelflight!” Leafpool breathed a sigh of relief, leaping from her nest, “I was beginning to worry! Have you seen…“

This momentary relief was short-lived, as Leafpool then got a better look at her dear sister. Squirrelflight’s pelt was patchy and burned, and she also had deep scratches oozing blood on her shoulder. She looked exhausted and ready to collapse. When Leafpool looked into her sister’s eyes, she saw a dark and haunted expression returning her gaze.

Leafpool rushed to her storage to get some herbs to treat Squirrelflight’s wounds. As she was hurriedly gathering some cobwebs to stop the bleeding on her sister’s shoulder, she was interrupted by her harsh mew.

“The kits… Leafpool… they know.” Squirrelflight croaked. 

Leafpool’s eyes shot wide open and she immediately looked around the den at her sleeping patients. With a nervous flick of her tail, she gestured for Squirrelflight to take this discussion outside, offering her a shoulder to lean on for support. They did not walk far, as Squirrelflight had already used most of her energy just making it to the medicine den. However, this conversation needed to take place where prying ears could not overhear. Sitting down and tucking her tail over her paws to hide the trembling, Leafpool looked her sister in the eye.

“Tell me Squirrelflight… What exactly happened during the fire?”

Squirrelflight began to let out several raspy coughs, her lungs and throat still raw from inhaling smoke. After her flank ceased heaving, she turned to look at Leafpool with serious eyes.

“During the fire: Jayfeather, Lionblaze, Hollyleaf, and myself were all searching for an escape route. We were surrounded on all sides by roaring flames, and things were looking bad. However, just as we were about to cross a fallen log to safety, Ashfur appeared from the smoke and blocked our exit.”

Following along with the story attentively thus far, Leafpool was left shocked. Ashfur? But he was their trusted clanmate!

Squirrelflight continued, “I yowled at him to move, to let us go, but you should have seen the hatred in his eyes… Leaf, it was chilling.” She shuddered when recalling the thought of the gray tom’s icy gaze. “It was as if this was a long time coming, like he was waiting for this perfect moment of revenge.”

Leafpool shuffled closer to her sister and gave her cheek a comforting lick, but Squirrelflight was not done with her story yet. She continued, “He was still… so angry that I refused to be his mate all those moons ago.” The ginger cat sounded hollow, “He couldn’t accept that I had long since moved on, that EVERYBODY else had already moved on. For Starclan’s sake Leafpool, the kits are all fully grown warriors now!”

Leafpool was left dumbfounded and completely unable to understand. How could a cat carry a grudge over something so trivial for so long?

“He was furious, and he was yelling about how much pain he was in and how it was all my fault… About how he didn’t ever hate Brambleclaw, he only ever hated ME for rejecting him.” Squirrelflight sneered in contempt, “At that point, I just wanted to make sure that the others could get to safety, so I asked him to please let them go. I thought that since his issue was with me he would have no reason to hurt them.”

Leafpool’s eyes were wide with sympathy, and she wrapped her tail around Squirrelflight’s own quivering tail. 

“B-but he said that they deserved to die too! He said that he would do anything to hurt me… including murdering those three! So… I told them all. I was so angry that he would dare to harm those innocent cats that it just erupted out of me. I said that Hollyleaf, Lionblaze, and Jayfeather were not my kits.”

Squirrelflight looked defeated and her ears fell flat, “Leafpool you should have seen their faces…”

Leafpool’s eyes misted over as she was overcome by the reality of the situation. She couldn’t help but to let out a gentle sob. Squirrelflight noticed her sister’s distress and rasped her tongue over her head,

“They do not know who their real parents are, don’t worry,” she mewed, reversing their roles as she turned to comfort Leafpool, “They didn’t even ask. They seemed to want nothing more to do with me as soon as we escaped the fire.”

This did not comfort Leafpool in the slightest. “But you ARE their mother Squirrelfight! Just as much as I am!” Squirrelflight tensed, surprised, as Leafpool continued, “You and Brambleclaw, you are the two cats who raised them! It wasn’t me, and it sure as Starclan was not Crowfeather. You will always be their mother.”

Squirrelflight sighed, “I do not know if they see it that way, Leaf.”

“They will surely come around, they were just shocked and scared, especially after having their lives threatened by their own clanmate! They have had a very eventful day… As a matter of fact, so have you. Go rest now Squirrel, we will work through this together, starting tomorrow.”

Squirrelflight met her sister’s eyes and blinked in exhausted appreciation before turning to go to the warrior’s den. Leafpool watched her leave, feeling like there were ants crawling under her pelt. That cat, their clanmate Ashfur, was suddenly very, very dangerous.

Leafpool padded back towards the entrance of the medicine den, her mind buzzing like a swarm of biting mosquitoes. Ashfur. Ashfur. Ashfur. 

He knows now that my children had to be kept a secret. After all, they are not only the children of an inter-clan relationship, they were also the children of a medicine cat! He may not know why, or who their real parents were, but with some digging he could find out. This was much worse than Squirrelflight let on. This could ruin everything, not only my position within Thunderclan, but the lives of my family as well…

While her consciousness was still rushing, Leafpool spotted him. In the darkness of the night, near the bramble barrier at the edge of the camp, there was a pair of glinting blue eyes staring back at her. The eyes blinked and disappeared, and Leafpool saw a spotted tail flick briefly into sight as the other cat turned and left. 

Rising to her paws, Leafpool began to move without even deciding to. Despite not having the same warrior training as her sister, Leafpool’s instincts took over as she began to tail the smoky gray tom through Thunderclan’s vast forest territory. She followed his scent over fallen logs and across streams, making sure to always stay hidden in the brush. They were heading deep into Thunderclan territory, and Leafpool could not help but wonder about his intended destination. Where could he possibly be going at this hour?

Suddenly, the scent that she was following was alarmingly close, he must have stopped moving. Crouching low, Leafpool peered out from between the leaves to see Ashfur pacing back and forth by the large river that cuts through their whole territory. His tail was lashing and his brow was furrowed. The gray tom then unsheathed his claws and slashed at a nearby piece of brush, letting out a frustrated hiss. Due to the exchange she just shared with Squirrelflight, Leafpool knew the context for this show of aggression. She realized that the reason that he was so angry was that he did not succeed in his scheme.

Leafpool couldn’t believe her eyes, she had always known that Ashfur was not her most pleasant clanmate, but she was never aware of just how much hatred he harbored in his heart. It is not as though she had disbelieved Squirrelflight’s story, but hearing about Ashfur’s true nature was different than seeing it herself firsthand. Leafpool knew then that she should leave, she had to return to her den and pretend that she saw nothing. However, her paws felt rooted in place, and her breath was becoming heavier. She kept watching the angry tom while her heartbeat accelerated. Her thoughts were spinning with fear, as the cat before her was clearly unhinged, and he also had a grudge against her dear sister. 

The emotion that began as terror quickly flickered into a rage that surprised Leafpool with its ferocity. She thought of how scared her children must have been during that confrontation in the fire. Hollyleaf, Lionblaze, Jayfeather… Squirrelflight… I love you all so dearly, and this selfish cat nearly took you all away from me! How dare he!

With trembling legs, she took a single step back, only to feel her paw land right onto a twig. The snap was quiet, but Ashfur’s ears immediately shot upwards. He was now on edge, as his eyes frantically darted around the clearing for the source of the sound. Leafpool held her breath and lowered herself even further, until her belly was brushing against the forest floor. Now, Ashfur was sniffing around the edges of the clearing, getting nearer and nearer to her hiding place. Leafpool felt her claws quietly unsheath and dig into the moss. As Ashfur got closer, Leafpool held her breath. 

Suddenly, recognition sparked in Ashfur’s eyes and he threw his head back.

“I know that you are here, Leafpool!” He yowled, fur bristling, “I can smell your fear-scent!”

Leafpool felt her muscles tense. The sound of her name sent a jolt of lightning down her spine.

“I am sure that Squirrelflight would be DEVASTATED if something were to happen to her sister!” Ashfur meowed smugly, flexing his claws.

Leafpool felt her blood go cold, fully realizing the precarious situation that she had placed herself in. They were both deep in Thunderclan territory with no other cat around, late at night. Far enough away from Thunderclan camp that their sleeping clanmates would not hear any yowling in the distance. Ashfur was a formidable warrior, with many moons of battle experience, and Leafpool was a cat trained only in healing and botany. He was also particularly dangerous for another reason, and that was the strength of his undying hatred against Squirrelflight. Leafpool then understood that if he were to find her now, it would result in a fight to the death. This would be a fight where the odds would be heavily stacked against her.

Leafpool knew then what she had to do. Not only for her own safety in her current situation, but also for the safety of her family in the long-term. She rose a little from the ground, enough to gather her strength in her haunches. She could see Ashfur’s gray paws approaching the bush that she was hiding inside. Up until now her thoughts had been a surging river, but at this moment, her mind went scarily silent. She patiently waited for an opportunity to present itself.

When Ashfur crouched beside her hiding spot to investigate closer, his eyes widened and he opened his mouth to say something. These words never left his mouth however, as Leafpool erupted from the foliage and wrapped her claws around Ashfur’s speckled shoulders. She had the element of surprise, and she knew that she had to finish her attack quickly before he retaliated. Leafpool used all of her weight to bring Ashfur to the ground as he was spitting in rage. His claws flashed past her face to score a scratch in her flank, and her blood splattered onto the stones beneath them. Leafpool gazed into his eyes, aglow with fury, to see nothing but a stranger behind them. She did not hesitate, with the thoughts of her sister and children drowning out any doubt or fear that may have remained in her heart. Pinning the tom to the ground, Leafpool sunk her teeth deep into the light fur of his throat. She held fast, and as he writhed underneath her, she felt his skin pull and tear away in her jaws. Leafpool did not hunt prey for her clan, so she was shocked at just how warm the fresh blood was on her tongue. This must be what catching fresh-kill feels like! She thought, mortified.

After his thrashing slowly began to subside, Ashfur went limp in Leafpool’s grasp. She loosened her grip on his shoulders, and removed her fangs from his neck. His eyes were glassy and unfocused, and he was convulsing at her paws. After a few seconds of a sickening gurgling, he went silent, blood trickling down his chin. Leafpool decided then to take a good look at the wound, just to be absolutely sure that it had killed him. The wound was deep and messy, and was surrounded by torn fur and exposed bloody tissue. This was a kill accomplished by an inexperienced killer, and it was sloppy. The part of her that was a medicine cat grimaced, and she immediately knew that the wound was fatal. 

At once, Leafpool was struck by both a sensation of relief, and that of a deep and existential horror. She felt as though she was going to be sick. Never in her life did she ever expect to be a cat who would intentionally  kill another, not with her line of work as a healer. She restrained herself from retching, and she closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. She inhaled and exhaled the crisp night air, grounding herself and relieving her nausea. I am used to seeing nasty wounds and smelling blood. She attempted to reassure herself.

The corpse of the gray tom could not be left here in the clearing, and Leafpool knew that. While his open throat could have been caused by a fox or dog, especially given how messy the kill was, the deep scratches on his shoulders were clearly that of a cat’s. Leafpool was certain that his body would be discovered by her clan’s dawn patrol the next day if he were to be left here. It would be better for Ashfur to be considered missing, as opposed to being found as a murder victim. That could lead to a lot of trouble, and potentially even conflict with another clan if they got blamed for his death. Leafpool did not even want to imagine what the consequences would be if she was discovered to be his killer.

Now that the adrenaline coursing through her veins had stopped, Leafpool suddenly felt very small and weak. Using the last remnants of her strength, She hoisted up Ashfur’s body so that it was draped over her back. Slowly and painfully, she hobbled with him towards the riverbank. His back legs dragged across the ground, and his throat was leaking a bloody trail onto the soil. Finally, once she had reached the edge of the river, she shrugged off his body into the churning current below. This river was the deepest and the swiftest on their territory. Leafpool hoped that his body would be carried all the way to the lake so that it would disappear for good. It would be best if Thunderclan quickly forgot about this rotten tom. Leafpool thought darkly.

She watched as his body vanished downstream, and then she washed herself clean with the water. She also cleaned away the bloody trail that he left behind, as her clanmates would be able to tell by the scent that it was cat blood. She looked through the canopy of leaves above her, at the slivers of visible night sky. The stars above twinkled mockingly back at her, almost as if they were saying, we saw what you have done. Leafpool felt a rush of indignation at this perceived scrutiny. Judge me however you like! She thought bitterly to herself, I have served you for my entire life, and all you have done is abandon me when I have needed you the most.

It would soon be sunrise, and Leafpool had to return to the camp before it was time for the dawn patrol. She hurriedly retraced her steps through the forest, all the way back to her den before collapsing in utter exhaustion. The blackness of sleep began to overtake her within moments. Her bravado in the face of her ancestors from earlier had already begun to fade, being replaced by an inescapable terror that shook her to her very core. Oh Starclan, what have I done?

[waifuoftomonori]

Aki After Tentacles: Chapter 1 - Fever (rough draft)

Story Summary: After defending the Princess from a tentacled Void-like monster, Akifusa wakes up biologically female. The only way for him to regain his former body (and hopefully get over his newfound attraction to his male best friend, who also happens to be Shiki’s husband) is to become pregnant. Or: In which I put poor Aki-kun through the wringer once again. *** [Foreword: I’ve been working on this fanfiction for a few months now— since August or so, I believe. It’s currently over 50k words, making it my longest fanfiction so far; I’m typing it up on Google Docs as well— scared to publish any of it on AO3 until I know I’m able to finish it, given my current track record, and it probably needs some editing and revision, but things are looking all right so far. The plot is progressing— yes, it actually has plot, I’m proud of myself. I still enjoy writing it, although some days I find it more difficult to write than others. I’ve reached the point in my writing where I’m willing to embrace dumb or unoriginal ideas instead of shy away from them. I think. I’m still a little shy about sharing this fic, in all honesty, although I had fun writing it. Anyway: thank you for reading this somewhat sloppy rough draft of a guilty-pleasure-slash-crack-fic-slash-smut fic that has spiraled into either porn with plot or just a really kinky, unconventional romance. (First chapter’s tame, though.) I appreciate it.] *** Chapter 1: Fever

The Princess parried a slash from a shapeless shadow-being, her heels churning up dirt from the force of the blow. They’d been fighting in these woods for hours with no reprieve. Their enemies were nearly impossible to track, their forms amorphous even in light, and the slivers of sky darkening through the crooked lattice of branches overhead spared them no mercy. An attempt to retreat would have resulted in massacre. 

And in turning to fend off one of the horde, the Princess exposed her flank to another. Akifusa was the only one close enough to see a gruesome appendage, writhing with eerie eldritch energy, lash toward her from the black haze.

Instinct and years of rigorous training kicked in. With a warning shout, he sprang between the Princess and her attacker, muscles convulsing as his form shifted.

The last thing he was aware of, before Tokoyo-gami took over and eliminated conscious thought, was a wave of overwhelming heat as the tenebrous tentacle wrapped around him.

***

The ceiling, at least, was familiar. 

Or maybe it was the bitter herbal smell that gave it away. That was probably it. The ceiling looked like most ceilings— which was still reassuring. At least the shrine hadn’t burned down. Blinking fuzzily, Akifusa turned his head. They’d put him in Toshi Temple: not the training area where he regularly honed his sword skills, but the adjacent, rarely-used medical room. Poultices, bandages, and healing talismans lined the wooden shelves; two rows of nondescript futons were arranged against the walls (all but his unoccupied, he noted with relief).

But although he recognized his surroundings, his own body felt… strange, in a way that went beyond simple pain.

He heard a door sliding open, followed by soft footfalls approaching over tatami, and then the Princess’s face appeared overhead. Her breath caught when she found him conscious. “Akifusa…” She blinked quickly, but her eyes still glittered with unshed tears. “You were out for so long… I was worried.”

He wanted to throw his arms around her and reassure her he was fine, the mere sight of her in good health had revitalized him, but his muscles protested. Still, his lips twisted in a feeble smile before forming the word: “Princess…”

He paused. That had sounded off, although he couldn’t place why. Did he have a cold or something? Could you catch a cold while you were unconscious?

“Oh. Um, Akifusa? There’s something you should know.”

***

The Princess had told all of them about Akifusa’s transformation, and they’d all agreed not to say or do anything to humiliate the poor guy… or maybe girl any further. After all, it was thanks to Akifusa that all of them were still alive; even Kuso knew this, beneath his arrogant sneers. And his current predicament sounded unsettling, they could all agree on that much. (Gentoka didn’t see any reason for embarrassment, and Furutsugu’s first reaction was that it sounded kinky, but they both admitted— eventually— that it would take some adjustment.) They could resist the urge to tease him for a day or two.

But none of them had been prepared for the uncomfortable possibility that female Akifusa would be hot.

Of all the guys, in fact, Akifusa had seemed the least likely to provoke that particular problem if subjected to a sex swap. Not that this was something they (except Furutsugu, who had a very active imagination and no sense of shame) thought about often, of course. (Highest on Furutsugu’s list were Kodonomae, Kuso, and himself— he didn’t believe in false modesty. Gentoka and Tomonori would still be attractive, but more cute than sexually appealing, though he’d be intrigued to hear the Princess’s thoughts on the latter. The only person he’d ranked lower than Akifusa was the Princess, and he was willing to admit that was probably influenced by his personal bias toward women.)

But when the Princess appeared in the doorway with a blushing brunette at her side, shifting from foot to foot and avoiding everyone’s eyes, the whole room sucked in a breath.

Akifusa’s profile was a bit softer now— chin a bit smaller, cheekbones less square— but mostly the same as it had always been. Choppy layers of straight dark hair tumbled to his waist, restrained from his eyes by only a simple red ribbon. Although he lacked the Princess’s more delicate beauty, all of the men had to admit to themselves, after the initial mental adjustment, that the end result certainly wasn’t repulsive. Anyone seeing Akifusa for the first time would have never guessed he hadn’t always been… well, a girl. (No one was quite sure on this point; none of them knew much about the powers of shadowy tentacle demons, making it hard to gauge the specifics of Akifusa’s transformation while he— or she?— had been unconscious.)

But the face wasn’t the part of Akifusa they had trouble dealing with. It was everything below the face that was the issue.

***

Akifusa’s cheeks blazed as he took a seat in his usual place, feeling his cumbersome breasts jiggle in the process; what was worse, the movement immediately drew all of the guys’ eyes, even though they all hastily looked away a second later. “Stop staring!” he snapped in that frustratingly high-pitched voice that had replaced his own. “Perverts!”

“Calm down, Aki,” the Princess said gently, sitting beside him. “They’re just not used to seeing you like this. Give it a few days.” There was a noticeable gap on her left; her husband must have been working late. That was too bad. Other than the Princess, Tomonori was probably the one person Aki could trust not to drool over his new figure.

He lowered his voice so the others wouldn’t hear. “But what if they don’t stop after a few days?”

“Then we’ll deal with it from there. But for now, could you try to give them the benefit of the doubt? They’ve been worried about you as well, in their various ways. …And high levels of stress aren’t healthy, especially when your body’s still recovering.”

“…Fine.” Akifusa bit his lip, shifting position. With every slight motion he made, he was reminded that the body he occupied was female, and judging by the expressions of everyone else in the room, they were equally aware of this fact.

“For what it’s worth, I think it’s an improvement,” Furutsugu said, flashing Akifusa a flirtatious smile uncomfortably like the ones he usually saved for the Princess. Akifusa shot him a death glare.

Kodonomae cleared his throat. “Good to see you’re alive.” He raised a hand as if to slap Akifusa on the back but stopped halfway there, an odd look crossing his face. His massive palm hung in the air for an awkward moment before falling aside.

“Uh. Thanks.” At least he was trying. Still, did he have to act so weird about the whole thing? True, Akifusa was smaller now (it felt strange being shorter than the Princess, even though it was only by an inch or two), and his body was softer in a few places and slimmer in others, but it wasn’t like a single back slap would kill him.

“Kuso,” the Princess said, sitting up straighter as if anxious to change the subject, “were you able to learn anything from your trip to the spirit world?”

There was a long silence. Akifusa’s eyes wandered to Kuso and found the Crow purposefully averting his gaze, his cheeks vermillion.

“Nothing of value,” he muttered eventually, crossing his arms. “There were several accounts of similar transformations, but none this… noticeable, and all of the recorded instances wore off after one to five days. For further information, I’ll need to examine the b—” He broke off, face coloring even more violently; Akifusa gritted his teeth. He’d hated it when Kuso insisted on calling him “boy” in the past, but the god’s inability to say the word now felt like even more of a slight.

Gentoka, who’d been silently eating until now, spoke up. “I tried becoming a woman once, a long time ago.”

All of them stared at him.

He shrugged, reaching for another piece of fish with his chopsticks. “I thought if Aterui had a child to look after, it would give him something to live for besides vengeance. It didn’t work, though.”

Kodonomae recovered first. “The transformation, or…” 

“No, that part was easy, but he didn’t want to mate with me in the new body, so I changed back. …This salmon is quite tasty. We should have it more often.”

Furutsugu smothered a laugh. More uncomfortable silence ensued.

“So… if it’s so easy, can you change me back?” Akifusa asked hopefully, but the fox god shook his head.

“I only know how to change my own form. I thought that was obvious.”

“Then why’d you bring it up in the first place?!”

Gentoka frowned, golden eye fixing on him with complete innocence. “I was just making conversation. Not everything is about you.”

With a scowl, Akifusa lowered his gaze. “I know that,” he muttered, ears growing hot.

“Do you want me to say something about you?”

“No, that’s—”

“It’s impressive you can stand with breasts that large, especially with your current height. I only made mine about a third that size when I tried. Your back must be killing you.”

Beside him, Akifusa saw the Princess wince, but he was already surging to his feet, blood boiling, ignoring the stab of agony in his ribcage. “I’ve had enough! You’re all acting like I’m a different person, just because— just because I grew these stupid breasts that I never even wanted in the first place! There’s more to me than just my body, so… so stop panting and knock it off already!”

He glowered at each of them in turn, eyes watering as he clutched his bandaged ribs, but no one seemed able to meet his gaze. Cowards.

And then a quiet, familiar voice ruptured the silence. “For once, Akifusa, I completely agree: they’re idiots, and you’re clearly the same reckless fool you’ve always been. Now sit back down before you break any more bones. Shiki worked very hard to heal you.”

Relief crashed over him as he turned toward the doorway. “Tomo—!”

Blood-red eyes met his own, and his breath shattered inside of him.

No. Oh no. He was dying.

He was dying, and that was why Tomonori’s features stood out to him in such luscious detail: the lurid crimson of his hair and eyes, the smooth curve of his cheek, those… those soft pouty lips. Akifusa’s mind was clinging to this precious image, knowing it would be his last; he was beginning to feel feverish, heart pounding a million miles a minute.

“Is everything all right, Akifusa?”

“Y-yes, Princess.” He hastily turned away and sat again. No need to worry her on his behalf. After all, as long as she stayed alive, he had a duty to protect her; Akifusa refused to let himself die yet.

“Akifusa.” Tomonori’s soft voice caught his attention again as he took a seat beside his wife. A small, sincere smile darted over his lips, eyes clinging to Akifusa’s for just a beat longer than necessary. “Thank you for saving Shiki. I’m glad you survived.”

Crap. His fever was coming back. *** Hope you enjoyed. There’s a lot more written; I’m not sure yet how much of it to share on here. It’s hard when I have no idea how many people are reading this to begin with. Thanks for reading, though. :)

[optimist-pine]

The rise boys reacting to the reader being sick?

A/n: This was a fun prompt to think about, thanks, Anon!

Word count: 641

Warnings: none

Leo:

- honestly, he's a little bummed, it's hard when he just wants you to feel better but he can't just make you instantly better himself

- but he's good at making sure you're thoroughly entertained - not too bored but nothing too crazy to overstimulate or wear you out

- things like video/card/board games (trash talk included), comics, or a movie/show marathon with sufficient commentary

- funny enough the one thing he remembers is that you should be drinking a lot of fluids so he's constantly reminding you of that or just absent-mindedly passing you something to drink

- that said, he is surprisingly attentive and will constantly be taking care of you in little ways that could easily be overlooked

- he'll make you the comfiest nest out of pillows, blankets, and stuffed animals that neither of you will want to leave

- you'll curl up and take turns rambling back and forth between serious topics and goofy ones until you both fall asleep

Raph:

- this guy's number one priority for you is rest

- so if you enjoy cuddles this might be the best few days or so of your life

- he's pretty well stocked up on medicine and such so he doesn't have to worry about leaving and can just focus on keeping you comfortable

- he's gonna do some really sweet and sappy stuff like keeping your pillows fluffy, reading to you aloud, painting your toes, etc - whatever low-impact activities he can do with you even if you fall asleep during them

- cuddling with him is such a relief no matter what symptoms you have - his shell is cool to the touch, and his skin is warm - so either way, it's soothing

- he'll put on some old mellow records in the background

- sometimes - you don't think he even realizes it - he hums along or laughs and the gentle rumble is comforting

Donnie:

- not gonna lie, he's grossed out by it

- like of course he cares, so he's gonna try his best to help you get better quickly and all

- but it can tend to be more of an interrogation when he's checking to see if you're doing literally every single thing possible to feel better

- his brothers gently remind him that maybe right now you just need someone to take care of you

- after that he really tries to set aside other things and focus on tending to you, being as patient as possible and withholding forcing you to test every possible cure

- this in itself, Donnie slowing down and giving you this special attention, is worth feeling miserable for

- you encourage him that he does actually have a good bedside manner, and he wants to live up to it

- he'll do a little well-being check every so often and adjust his "treatment" accordingly

- by far your favorite of the cures is cuddles though

Mikey:

- he's got a cure for everything

- sore throat? he's got a soup for that

- headache? he'll make you the best herbal cooling wrap for your forehead

- an upset stomach? he's got a tea that'll make that disappear instantly

- you do have to be careful what you say because if you make any sign of discomfort he's gonna hop right up and have to fix it

- but on the plus side, you'll barely be sick for very long at all

- he'll make a pillow fort out of blankets and fairy lights for you to have a quiet space

- Donnie calls it quarantine

- he'll get you flowers, your favorite plus whatever will help you feel better

- he's also a master masseur, so those aches and pains have nothing against Mikey and his mystic hands

[runawaymun]

Can I make a request? How is Lindir and legolas with a human s/o who has a horrible first couple of days during her period. 😅 In addition to cramps (extending to back and leg pain) I get heat flashes, tension headaches, nauseous, I typically don’t eat the first day.

Ooooo I'm currently on my period so this is an easy one for me! Okay, let's see...

How They Would React to: Human S/O with Awful Periods

Lindir

Lindir isn't clueless in this area. He has a sister, and so to your surprise he knew just what to do (even though Elves are a little different to humans).

He did panic a little at first because you were clearly in pain and cocooning yourself off from the world. He thought it was a mortal ailment and that you might even be dying, but as soon as you explained what it was he turned very pink, looked relieved, and immediately began to fuss.

Most doting boyfriend in the world. 10/10 will bring you anything you ask for. Hot water bottle. Warm blankets. Herbal teas. Sweets. Chocolate. 

Actually knows quite a lot of Elvish medicine and is able to provide you with some common cures for both cramps and nausea.

He does get very fussy and concerned when you won’t eat (you’re human!! you’re fragile!!! you need sustenance!!), but once you explain this is normal for you he’ll only fuss a little bit, trying to bring you things that are easy to digest and not really forcing them.

He gives the best scalp massages. Like, immediate tension headache relief. He’ll also massage your lower back and calves to help with the cramps.

General period mess does bother him a little bit, but he’s very understanding and able to push aside most of his natural squeamishness. 

He’s a minstrel and that counts for something. He knows a few healing cantrips and will definitely use them to ease your symptoms.

He is very busy, being Lord Elrond’s steward and assistant, but he will be sure to check in on you often and make sure you’re feeling okay. To the point that it might get annoying after a while.

If you do get annoyed he’ll swiftly apologize and try and give you space, but he can’t keep away for very long.

(He maybe still worries that you’re on the brink of death. Just a little bit. It just seems so extreme for a mortal. Elrond assures him that Edain are not as breakable as Lindir might think). 

Legolas

Legolas knows of periods from Tauriel. They’re best friends, after all, but he isn’t super experienced with them and is kind of awkward-- only because he isn’t 100% sure what to do when he finds you curled up in bed with cramps and a headache and hot flashes. 

Like Lindir he actually worries you’re dying for a second and automatically grabs the healers. 

Once both you and the healers explain what’s happening he’s really embarrassed. Tauriel thinks it’s hilarious though.

Tauriel doesn’t have the best advice for him because her periods are pretty mild. It’s actually Thranduil who tells him, in no uncertain terms, that he is not to leave your side unless you ask him to, and details how he can best make you comfortable. His own wife dealt with similar periods and so he has a lot of experience in the area. 

Legolas takes methodical mental notes and is very good about asking what you need. He make a list and then go off to the healing halls and comes back with an armful of supplies and deposit them on the bed. 

He TRIES to fuss. A+ for effort. He’s a little clumsy about it though. 

But he’s an INSANELY GOOD CUDDLER. Great scalp massages. Great lower back massages. Will drag you into a private hot spring and let the hot water do its magic. Absolutely does not mind if the blood gets places (he’s a feral boi. Mess doesn’t bother him). 

He doesn’t make you eat, because nausea’s no fun. Instead he joins you and always fasts the first day, since misery loves company.

He’ll usually take that day off from everything too so he can just lie in bed and comfort you and keep an eye on you in case he needs to run to the healing wing for painkillers or other medicines.

Can be a bit of a smotherer. Mostly because you’re mortal and it’s just ??? so concerning ????? that you just bleed for days and days??? Okay sure an Elf would be fine but an Edain ????? ARE YOU OKAY

It’s very frustrating for him to see you uncomfortable, but he knows its natural and there’s nothing he can do about it. So mostly he just chills with you and does his best to be sympathetic.

[pascalmode]

In The Stars (2 - The Lord of The Night)

Thank you so much for all the love on my first chapter:') So excited to keep this going. This fic is also posted on my ao3 (fortheloveofstark)

AZ x TOG!OC (This is a work of fanfiction)

Age: 18+

Warnings: Cannon level violence, mentions of torture, mentions of Maeve, a lil tiny bit of blood, Asteria proving how much of a baddie she really is <3

Asteria’s death does not come as Maeve needs it to. 

She had crashed down from the night sky in a burst of red light and collided with the earth hard enough that she doesn’t know how she kept breathing. 

Or how she breathes now. But she is. She inhales, and her chest rises, and with every exhale it lowers. A slow, steady rhythm reminding her how alive she really is, even if the ache in her head begs to disagree. It’s a throbbing, the pain aligning itself with her heartbeat.

The pain in her chest is worse, where a dagger once laid, was twisted, and yanked out. 

The sharpness of the blade’s absence is all she can truly focus on. Her thoughts slowly come back to her; her name, her home, her magic, what and who she trusts; she begins to list the things she knows until a hand gently brushes her shoulder. 

The touch makes her eyes snap open. 

Asteria expects the course sand of a beach beneath her, the smell of salt wafting into her senses. Instead, she’s met with the soft sheets of a cot beneath her, completely unfamiliar.

She doesn’t wince at the sudden onslaught of light on her senses, or shudder away from the strong herbal, definitely medicinal scents that invade her nose. Instead, her eyes dart to the unfamiliar female standing beside her where she lays, dark eyes and long blonde hair tucked behind pointed ears. A stranger, and a captor. Her mouth quirked as though she may smile parts, about to say something. 

She doesn’t get the chance. The stranger is pushed back enough to give Asteria time to raise her leg, a forceful kick hitting the blonde’s chest with enough power to send her flying backwards, crashing against the wall across the room with a loud wail of pain. 

Not hesitating, Asteria’s feet meet the cold floor, and though her muscles groan in protest, having been bed ridden for longer than she thought. It takes a couple steps to steady herself, but once she gets her bearings, she’s running. 

Dipping out of the room she’d awoken in and finding herself in a hallway filled with luxury, Asteria looks both ways, one way leading around another corner, lined with various doors, and the other leading to a large window. She’d been captured before, and she knows an escape when she sees one. 

Arms pumping as she gains momentum, Asteria sprints towards it. Powerful legs bound her towards the glass, whisps of her own silver hair blowing into her eyes for barely a second before being pushed away by the sheer speed of her movements. 

When she’s close to the glass, she leaps forward, arms shielding her face and knees out, the sound of the shatter reverbing through her bones as salt and lemon verbena scented air suddenly surrounds her, and she’s falling forward and down.

Gaze shooting downward and arms flying out, relief floods through her when she sees that she’d only been a few stories up, and she prepares herself for her landing. When she hits the ground, her feet absorb only a bit of the impact, and she uses her momentum to roll forward, training she had received over the centuries of her life making the maneuver automatic.

Asteria springs back up to her feet, quickly and boldly while taking note of the well taken care of grass underneath her, and she darts towards a stone fence on the edge of the yard only to be stopped abruptly by the sudden drop of red light in front of her. She bounces off of it, skidding back abruptly. 

A shield. 

A moment later, the ground beneath her shudders as a massive being drops to the earth in front of Asteria, cutting off her escape. He rises slowly, his impressive height only challenged by his broadness, fighting leathers strapped to each part of him. The female’s eyes narrow on the red, gleaming gems on his chest, shoulders, hands, and knees, the same colour as the shield slowly dissipating before her. He has long, curved blades strapped to him, and she becomes aware of the fact that she has nothing. Her weapons had been taken from her.

His skin is bronzed, and dark hair flows just past his shoulder line. Hazel eyes run over her figure, assessing and analyzing just as Asteria becomes aware of the large, almost demonic wings sprouting from the male’s back. 

Her mind works instinctively, checking his neck for a collar and his fingers for a ring, seeing nothing of the sort. Asteria clenches her fists, her stance widening in preparation for what comes next. She’d fought bigger than him before, and she would never back down.

“I’m going to need you to apologize for the window,” The male says casually, his stance reflecting his tone, “It was my favourite.”

Asteria doesn’t dignify him with a response, her eyes darting to the blade on his back, her lips pulling back to let loose a low snarl. 

The male opens his mouth to speak again, but before he can Asteria is lunging at him with a yell, forcing him into a fighting stance the split second it takes for her to reach him. 

Her blows are fuelled by a speed he’d rarely encountered before, based on the fact that his blocks are desperate, almost sloppy as he tries to keep up, his careful eyes seeking an opening for his own strikes. 

Asteria doesn’t let up, driving the male to take step after step back to try to make space between them. But as quickly as he moves, she advances on him twice as fast, swiping and punching, and waiting patiently for her opening. She’s toying with him. 

Though her eyes don’t move, her attention goes to his blade, and through her fury a small smirk graces her lips. Asteria slows, just for a moment. Long enough to let him think he can take control.

The male takes the bait, going for a blow of his own, one that the female easily ducks under, grabbing his arm and pulling him forward and off balance. He’s trying to use his wings to balance himself, flapping them to attempt to stand back straight, but the smaller female is climbing him, driving her knee into the place where his wing sprouts from his back. 

He cries out in pain, reaching back for her as her legs wrap around him and she’s flipping them backwards. 

They hit the grass with a thud, and before the male can recover even the slightest breath, Asteria is on him again. He’s turned onto his side, his arms pinned in a painful hold orchestrated by just the female’s powerful legs, his own blade pressed against his throat just enough to sting, making him look up at her. 

He tries to move, but Asteria has him locked in, his demonic wings flapping helplessly behind them, one of them twitching in pain from the blow it had been delivered.

Asteria growls above him, grip tightening around his blade as if she’s about to drag it across his skin, and she is, when a figure appears from nothing before them.

“Please don’t,” A new male kindly requests, violet eyes gleaming and dark hair swept back neatly from his face. He stands straighter than the one beneath her had, commanding power with just his presence. It’s enough that the grip on the blade loosens slightly.

Asteria’s eyes assess him, taking in his confidence, and the handsome face that most probably find devastating. The quiet authority that surrounds him.

“He meant no harm,” The male continues, taking a step forward and holding his hands up, showing he’s unarmed.

“She does,” The male underneath her grits out, “She means harm. Did you see the window?”

Ignoring him, the powerful male takes another step closer, “What's your name?”

She doesn’t answer him, her icy glare remaining on the stranger, whos jaw clenches. 

In her still aching head, Asteria feels something against her ever-present mental shields. At first, it’s a gentle brush, purely investigative. But right after that, there’s a push, and she shudders at the feeling.

“Do that again and I’ll spill his blood,” Asteria growls out, pushing the blade harder against the male beneath her’s throat. A small line of blood dots the edge of the metal. 

The male crouches, hands still up, “I just want to know your name.”

“Are you the King?”

“High Lord,” He corrects, “My name is Rhysand.”

“Where am I?”

“Prythian. The city of Velaris, in the Night Court,” The male, Rhysand, says. 

Asteria never heard of such a land. She channels her magic to her feet and through the leather of her boots, one of them planted firmly in the grass beneath her. She calls out to the realm she’s come to know so well over her three and a half centuries roaming it. She’s met with silence, and the cease of the power she’d summoned. 

No, The realm sneers in an unfamiliar tone, the words echoing deep in her soul for only her to hear, I am not yours. You are not mine. 

The female tenses at the response, her heart thudding hard in her chest. The Realm does not lie. She does not belong here. You are not mine. 

Maeve had thrown her through the door between worlds, and she had ended up here, in this strange world when she was supposed to fall for the rest of her eternity, or until she lost so much blood that her heart gave out. Whatever came first.

Asteria can feel her muscles lock up with dread, the tenseness drawn directly from the words of the strange realm; A voice she’d never heard before. She’d never heard of Prythian because it shouldn’t exist. She’s in the wrong realm. She’d left a war unfinished.

The words continue thundering through her, a chorus in the back of her head she cannot ignore; I am not yours. You are not mine. I am not yours. You are not mine. I am not yours. You are not mine. I am not yours-

“We can help you, we want to help you,” Rhysand continues, seeing the devastated look on her face and silencing the crescendo of panic building, “What’s your name?”

The green-eyed female takes an unsteady breath, moving the blade a hair's width away from the male she has pinned, who had ceased his struggling beneath her, “Asteria.”

“Asteria, will you please release my General?”

Muscles loosening with only a moment’s hesitation, Asteria nods, letting the General go from the hold and taking a few steps away as he rolls onto his back, catching his breath. 

When he stands, he glares at the silver haired female, the High Lord taking notice with careful eyes. 

“Cassian,” The High Lord scolds, giving the winged man a name, “Why don’t you check on Mor?”

The winged-male hesitates, Rhysand giving him a nod to urge him along, and with the brush against her mental walls just a few moments ago, Asteria has no doubt the powerful male in front of her has the ability to speak in his General’s mind.

“Mor?” Asteria repeats. 

“The female you nearly sent through the wall,” The General states with a glare, moving with a wide berth around the silver-haired female, “Another apology to put on your list.”

All he gets in response is a low growl. One that he sends right back. The pair watch each other with pulled back lips until Cassian disappears inside the luxurious estate.

“Your General is a bastard,” Asteria grunts, turning back to the High Lord to see an amused smirk upturning the corners of his lips. 

“He’s been called worse.”

“I don’t doubt that.”

“He’s got a real soft heart when you get to know him,” Rhysand smirks, “He’s just upset that you put him on his ass before he could blink.”

“And why shouldn’t I do the same to you?”

Rhysands eyes glisten, and Asteria swears there are actual stars trapped within the violent toned shade of blue. His mouth doesn’t move, and yet Asteria hears him, Because I know what you are.

Is that so, High Lord?

Your mental shields are impressive. Some of the strongest I’ve encountered, but not nearly as strong when you’re unconscious, Realm Reader.

Asteria’s eyes narrow, her title making her thudding heart pick up speed yet again, I am not yours. You are not mine. 

“You fell from the stars seven nights ago,” Rhysand says, a sigh leaving his lips as his hands clasp behind his back, turning to look over the stone fence Asteria had been rushing towards before Cassian got in her way, “It was the night of the Winter Solstice. You gave my Mate and I quite the surprise.”

“You seem to have recovered since then,” Asteria mumbles, moving to stand beside the night-blessed male, looking over the same view he gazes upon so fondly. 

A view that makes her heart drop to the pit of her stomach. 

Before her is an endless sky, wisps of night-darkened cloud surrounds them, more stars than Asteria had ever seen glistening above, and below; a plummeting drop to the hard, rocky earth. She had been racing towards it prepared to jump, and in this strange realm, one that does not know her or care for her, it would not protect her. 

Even her immortal body wouldn’t have survived.

“Quite the view, isn’t it?”

Asteria gulps, “Please don’t make me thank your General for stopping me.”

Rhysand’s chuckle is a deep and breathy sound, one that would have been beautiful if Asteria wasn’t so stunned by what she’d almost done to herself, “He doesn’t need that ego boost.”

“Why did you bring me here?” Asteria asks, her eyes scanning the side of the High Lord’s face.

“It seemed better to contain you here rather than down in the city,” Rhysand answers, his voice nothing but honest, “Based off what I saw behind your shields, I didn’t know what you’d be like if you woke up.”

“If?”

“Do I have to repeat that you fell from the stars?” Rhysand asks, turning to the female with a quirked brow, “It’s a fall you shouldn’t have survived.”

“And because I did, you looked into my head?”

“Not many people outside of this court know about Velaris, but you landed right outside the city’s walls. I needed to make sure you weren’t sent by an enemy. It was to keep both you and my people safe.”

Asteria’s leather-gloved hands clasp themselves behind her back, mirroring the violet-eyed male’s stance, “What did you see?”

“Everything.”

“And? Am I your enemy?”

“No, Asteria,” Rhysand breathes, “I believe you may be exactly what I’ve been looking for.”

“I fear that the realm is weakening,” The High Lord continues, that quiet power more prominent than ever despite his suddenly solemn expression, “There was a war, something I know you are no stranger to.”

Asteria eyes him wearily, “The war isn't over.”

“Maybe not in your realm, but in this one it is. We won, but the cost may have been-”

“The wellbeing of the realm,” Asteria finishes, earning a nod from Rhysand.

“The battlefields haven’t healed, and the woods beyond them are rotting. The High Lords across all territories have tried to fix the damage, but it’s no use. It’s spreading, and I think you may be capable of stopping it.”

Asteria shakes her head, “I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

Swallowing a lump in her throat, panic beginning to build in her yet again, Asteria’s eyes shift back to the glorious night that stretches on before her, “I do not belong to this Realm, it’s already told me as much.”

“You do not belong to this Realm now, but you could,” Rhysand says, turning to face the silver haired female and returning her gaze to him, “Realms feel pain, and joy. They know trust. It’s how it decides its High Lords. It picks who it trusts. If you earn that trust, you could help it to heal.”

“Your faith is misplaced,” Asteria states, her own green eyes searching deep within Rhysand’s, searching for any kind of deceit or trickery. All she finds is a burning passion. A genuine one. It pisses her off, “You believe all of this after just one look behind my shields?”

“I do,” Rhysand nods, his smirk reappearing, “Your magic is unique, Asteria. It’s been missing from Prythian far too long.”

“Maybe so,” Asteria shrugs, having no reason to argue, “But what reason do I have to trust you, Lord Rhysand?”

“Just Rhysand is fine,” The High Lord tuts, and Asteria rolls her eyes in response, “And you can trust me, because I’m willing to give you the very thing I took while you slept.”

He holds out his hand, and Asteria understands.

She swallows, eyes locked on the High Lord’s upturned palm, “You truly saw everything then?”

“I did. It’s time for you to do the same.”

Asteria’s movements are slow, and stiff, her eyes locked on Rhysand’s as her fingers pry themselves free of the brown leather gloves that always cover them. 

Revealing what lay beneath, the High Lord doesn’t gawk, or cower away. No disgust lines his features. He looks at her expectantly, and with patience. 

He does not fear her, even after what he’d seen. 

So, Asteria presses her palm into his, the little magic she has that isn’t reliant on the Realm glowing brightly between them, wisps of light winding around their arms and further; around each piece of them. 

Her magic brushes against Rhysand’s mental shields, grand walls made of the strongest, most elegant obsidian. At her gentle prod, the gates give way.

And then five hundred years of memories slams into Asteria. 

She sees it all; feels every second of it. Every sharp inhale on the battlefield, and every relieved exhale in moments of peace. She’s lived in Illyrian war camps, and found bastards there that she lovingly calls brothers. She mourns her mother and sister, and takes swift revenge for them, losing her father and becoming High Lord in the process. She knows and loves her inner circle. She suffered under the mountain. She knows her mate; heard her neck snap and felt her die, only to be brought back. 

Feyre, Rhysand’s memories purr, the bond glowing in an incandescent light that has nothing to do with Asteria’s magic. Feyre, Feyre, Feyre. 

What follows makes Asteria shudder, she sees her mate as a shell of who she is, hollowed out by the ignorance of the High Lord of Spring. Sees him lock her in the house, only for her to be saved by Mor. She sees her training, her healing. The cabin. Her sisters being plunged into the Cauldron and emerging as high fae. 

Then, after a meeting with each of the High Lords of the Realm, she sees the war.

She sees Hybern coming for them, and the efforts taken to hold the front line. She tastes the blood that filled the air, felt the surges of power from the creatures that joined them, and the unlikely allies, both fae and human, that came to their aid.

Then, she feels the cold kiss of death. She sees the light back home, and clings to the bond of two souls. Then she is brought back.

She sees the aftermath of the war, the rebuilding and healing. The impact on the inner circle, on her mate and especially her sister. She sees the Winter Solstice, the night of her mate’s birth, their private celebration interrupted by a burning red star blazing through the sky. She sees the week leading to where they stand now. 

Asteria lets go, having seen every piece of the High Lord’s past in mere seconds. 

She breathes heavily, looking up at the male to see his eyes lined with silver, about to spill over, “You truly saw everything then?”

“I did,” Asteria nods, breath coming in uneven heaves. She squeezes her eyes closed, her focus shifting on regaining herself. Her thoughts slowly come back to her, her name, her home, her magic, what and who she trusts; she begins to list the things she knows, finding gaps that are still filled by Rhysand, but everything else is her own.

Using her magic this way strips her down, and makes her bare. She experiences another person’s entire life; their memories, thoughts, fears, joy. All of it. Over the centuries it had gotten easier to control it, and to come back to herself. It is still an effort, and Asteria still feels as though she loses a part of herself every time. But she’d always had her Realm to soothe her, to remind her who she is. She doesn’t have that anymore.

You are not mine.

“And do you trust me?”

“I-” Asteria pauses to breathe, thinking about what she had seen. For a while she was Rhysand, and she knows his purest intentions. Despite what he thinks of himself, he is a good, honorable male, and he’s been genuine since he appeared before her, “I think I do.”

“If you help me, if you help this realm, Asteria, you will stay here under the protection of my inner circle, with free reign to come and go as you please.”

The bargain is nearly perfect to the silver-haired female, so much so that she lets the corners of her mouth perk up into a small smirk. But then, the memory of a naive seventeen year old fae with too much budding power than she knew what to do with rams into her with all the pain that followed. All the torture. 

Asteria frowns, meeting the High Lord’s eyes again, “I won’t take your blood oath.”

“There are no blood oaths here,” Rhysand assures, a hand clamping down on the female’s strong shoulder and squeezing, “That’s a primitive practice, it hasn’t been used in thousands of years in this court. All you can give me is your word.”

“And if I deny you?” Asteria prods.

“Then you may go,” Rhysand says with a slight shrug, as if it were the easiest thing in the world, and to him maybe it is, “There are lots of places to live in this court and the others beyond it.”

The answer makes her feel like she can breathe again.

It’s with certainty that Asteria nods to Rhysand, standing a little straighter, a little more confidently. She knows her answer, and she’s known it from the second the male gave her his hand, “Okay,” She says steadily, “I’ll help you.”

Rhysand’s grin is bright enough to light up the entirety of the glorious night sky that stretches out before them, “Well then, allow me to welcome you to the Court of Dreams, Realm Reader.”

[amorgansgal]

How would Arthur, john and Charles (if that’s too much Arthur and john then) react to a f! Reader with a chronic painful invisible illness that they live with forever? Thanks!

So I’m going to do this post Arthur’s diagnosis of TB, because I think both Arthur and John would really struggle to understand what this means and how a chronic illness can affect somebody. Not to say they don’t care or would be dicks about it, but I think even a modern understanding of chronic illnesses still leaves something to be desired.

Arthur

Arthur now fully understands why you’ve struggled in the past and why some days might be better and some days worse. Simple things that he didn’t even think about (climbing a hill, running a short distance or even finding a comfortable position in bed) leave him breathless and in pain.

He finds it difficult to both think and avoid thinking about his illness, so is very sympathetic to your frustration and upset with the illness when you’re having a bad day.

He’s still our sweet boah though and now offers more readily to fetch you things outside camp. He even suggests spending some money he’s collected to find you a good doctor who could help.

Even though sadly you tell him there’s not much they can do.

He sits with you a lot and tries to talk about things you both enjoy. He wants to try and cheer you up, to distract you from when you are feeling low or in pain. Especially when you do the same for him.

Arthur does worry about making you ill though, he tries to keep his hands clean and his mouth covered so you won’t get worse. Whether or not this actually has any affect is not the point, he doesn’t want to run the risk.

Seeing that he doesn’t garner much sympathy in camp for his illness, he will do his best to be sympathetic and understanding with you. He’ll insist that Tilly or Miss Grimshaw look after you if he can’t.

John

John has never been the most patient with you, perhaps more because he gets frustrated and critical of himself and he can be needy.

But seeing what Arthur is going through makes him realise that you often suffer silently and that a lot of what your experiencing goes on behind the scenes.

He is determined to do better and provide you with help and support. When the gang moves to Beavers Hollow, he is worried that it might make your health worse.

He does his best to find abandon cabins and hotel rooms where you might get a better night’s sleep and he encourages you to eat more. He’s very concerned about you wasting away like Arthur.

John is a bit nervous about talking about your illness, he’s worried you might take offense or feel uncomfortable by his sudden concern, but he’ll ask you every morning how you’re feeling and if he can get you anything.

Years later, John purchases and builds Beecher’s Hope far earlier, he wants to make sure you have a comfortable place to stay and have a warm house to live in.

Charles

When you tell Charles what you experience and what your life is like, the man listens carefully and pays attention to everything you say.

You don’t realise how much he has paid attention, but are grateful when he can casually suggests taking regular rests if you’re out with him. It’s a little thing, but you know it’s because he cares deeply.

He might suggest some herbal remedies and even if they don’t relieve you pain or illness, he says something that smells or tastes good can still put you in a good mood and that in itself can help when you’re unwell.

He’s also up for moving to a different place or state if the weather or climate has an effect on your illness. Anything that might give you relief, however small or seemingly inconsequential, Charles is willing to help you with it.

He also tries to find more comfortable bedding for you to sleep on if you’re with the gang, he’s aware a good night’s sleep can help even if it doesn’t fully relieve your pain.

You always get the sense that Charles is very much in tune with your energy and how your feeling. He doesn’t really have to ask, just takes one look at you and can guess whether you have enough energy or if you’re in pain. If you’re struggling he might even take you out from camp so you don’t have to exhaust yourself further with more work.

[sirowsky]

The Lost Island

Chapter 3 - Dying

Summary: While you're fighting for your life, Marcus learns more about the island, which leads him to a painful conclusion, and puts the two of you on a collision course.

Author's Note: We're getting on the roller-coaster even sooner than usual, folks, so strap in!

Rating: Mature 18+ONLY Warnings: cursing, mention of drowning, wounds, angst, near-death experience, suggestion of natural/herbal drugs, severe rage. Word Count: 3963 Masterlist (this story) Author’s Masterlist

Marcus watched you die that day. He held your struggling body while you drew your final breaths, too short and too shallow to even move your chest, and then it was over. And he was alone. Suddenly he felt so much regret crash over him. So much anger had passed between you, and for what? He didn’t hate you, in truth, he had nothing really against you, except for your insistence on always treating him with suspicion and irritation.

You were an impressive person, and he’d admired you even through his own anger. You were good at reading scenario’s, assessing risks, coming up with strategies and implementing them. You were largely fearless and would usually speak your mind and not hold back, no matter who you were addressing. You were brave and strong in both mind and body. The Headquarters had come under attack a few times already in the two years you’d been in charge of its security, and you’d been instrumental in saving the lives of everyone there, each time. You were as much a Hero as all the supers, and the fact that you’d done those things without having powers, only made it that much more impressive. Had you not decided that he was somehow the most untrustworthy person in existence, the two of you could’ve been friends. Perhaps it was just the knowledge that he was now all alone that made him feel like that, but as he sat there, holding your broken lifeless body… he missed you. He cried for you. For the loss of such a tremendous soul, but also just because he wished that you would’ve let him be your friend. It felt as though hours had passed, even though it was only minutes, when he opened his eyes to find himself surrounded by people. Brown-skinned with dark hair and eyes, wearing only what nature could provide, carrying spears and bows and arrows, none of which were aimed at him. They surrounded the two of you, and an older man stepped closer.

“We might be able to help her. If you will let us.”

Stunned by the fact that the man spoke English, hell, that he was staring at actual people at all, Marcus just nodded and opened his arms to let them take your body. And a flurry of activity went through the group. He watched as they performed rituals, smeared unknown substances over your body and into your mouth, and then a group of women sat down in a circle around you and started singing. And they didn’t stop. For two whole days they sat there, holding hands and chiming the same melodious sounds, over and over, until they all suddenly just stopped in the middle of it. He’d been sitting to the side, just watching and waiting, taking the food and drink they offered and dozing off every now and then, but too nervous to really sleep. And when everything abruptly just stopped, the quiet felt pressing and ominous and he sat up straighter, waiting to hear that it hadn’t worked. Whatever it was. But when the women sighed and began to move their stiff limbs, some getting up and walking away, he could see you more clearly, and your chest was heaving again. They’d taken all your clothes off, so he could clearly see how big, long and regular breaths filled your lungs, and that some colour had returned to your skin. He hadn’t expected it, but seeing that you were alive really affected him, and he cried with relief, thanking the strangers around him while he tried to calm himself. The older man came to his side again, and asked him to come for a walk, and he wasn’t about to decline the people that had just saved your life. The man took him on a slow stroll along the mountainside as he talked, and somehow, Marcus felt a little better with each step he took.

“I am Akela, of the island of O’Ahu.”

“The Hawaiian Island O’Ahu?”

“The same. We sailed from there, looking to explore the ocean, find new land, and ended up shipwrecked here, nearly fifty years ago now.”

“Wow. Sorry, I’m Marcus, thank you for saving my colleague.”

“She has a strong spirit, that’s what truly saved her. But you are welcome.”

“Would it be terribly rude of me to ask how you did that? There was fluid in her lungs, and all your people did was rub something on her skin and sing.”

“This island is not a kind place. My tribe has suffered terrible illnesses and plights here. We wouldn’t have survived if we hadn’t learned how to speak to the Gods of the ocean. But they wouldn’t have helped if her soul had not been worthy.”

“She’s certainly stubborn enough to refuse to die.”

“Oh, it takes much more than simple will, to deny death. That requires heart. Your friend is much stronger than you know.”

They’d reached a ledge higher up on the mountain by then, looking out over most of the island, which was bigger than Marcus had first thought, continuing behind the mountain with treacherously precipitous terrain, all but the very steepest cliffs covered in wild jungle.

“Damn. You’re right, it doesn’t look very kind at all.”

“This place has grown all alone out here, creating a unique eco-system that has as many deadly, as rewarding properties. You will need to learn all of them if you are to survive here.”

“We weren’t planning on staying.”

Akela hummed a little unhappily.

“You will not be given a choice in that matter. Nothing leaves this island.”

The man turned and headed back the same way they’d come, and Marcus followed him.

“Why not? Is something hiding this place from the rest of the world? My colleague seemed convinced of it.”

Hearing that made the older man stop and turn back to look at him for a moment.

“Her Mana is stronger than even I thought. If she figured that out in just a day…”

He seemed lost in thought for a few beats, and then started walking again before he continued.

“Yes, this place is hidden, but it is not our doing. When we first came here, those of us that had survived being swallowed by the sea, we thought it was a gift from the Gods. But while we began trying to build a life for ourselves here, and learned how unforgiving this land is, we decided to head back out on the ocean. And that was when we encountered the Kaiaka. You may blame them for concealing the island from the outside world.”

“Okay, so who are they?”

“Sea-people. Neither men nor dolphins, and their characters are as duplicitous as their bodies.”

“You mean like… mermaids?”

“Yes. But whatever you may have read in the fables, I can assure you that very little was accurate.”

“And they have the power to cloak this entire island?”

“I don’t pretend to know how they do it, but it is their doing, this much I know. They made no secret of it as they destroyed the ships we’d built and condemned us here as punishment for the trees we’d stolen and the fish we’d eaten to survive. If one of us sets so much as a foot in the ocean, they drag us under and drown us. They can manipulate the water so that it becomes our enemy too, sucking us down and holding us there, as though it had a life of its own.”

“But… I mean no offense, but we’re not you. We haven’t taken anything.”

“Did you not take coconuts to drink and clean your wounds? Did you not pull leaves from plants to use in your bandages?”

“That’s absurd. They can’t condemn people for a few coconuts…”

“You are not the first unlucky souls to find themselves stranded here. Over the years there have been others, sailors and pilots alike, and they’ve all met the same fate. Eventually the island drove them desperate enough to try and swim away, only to be sucked under.”

“There must be some way of reasoning with them… something they want or…”

“Don’t waste your breath, Kahele, they will not hear reason. We tried for a great many years to speak to them, but our words were only ever spat at. Your energy would be much better spent helping your friend heal.”

Marcus stopped walking, and when he noticed, Akela stopped too, turning back once more to meet his eyes. They were just outside of the little camp the tribe had set up around you.

“She’s not my friend. I don’t even know why, but she hates me.”

“Hate is a strong word. And I don’t believe it to be an accurate one in this case.”

“You haven’t met her yet.”

“I don’t have to; her soul speaks very loudly and there is no hatred within it. Passion, bravery, resolve, a lot of fears… but no hatred. Whatever her problem with you might be, it does not come from true anger.”

“Well then she’s fooled me every day for almost two years.”

“Most people see only the surface of other people. You must look further than her face to see her heart.”

“Why would I wanna look closer at someone that’s already decided that I’m worth only her contempt?”

The older man lowered his eyebrows with confusion.

“Then why cry for her as you did?”

That made Marcus pause, because he wasn’t sure about it himself. But he was getting increasingly distraught with this whole situation and his temper was beginning to rise, so he grabbed at the first excuse he could find.

“Because I’m not a heartless person and I don’t enjoy watching people die in agony, whether I know them or not.”

Akela’s expression softened somewhat, and he took a step closer.

“This is true, I can see that in your soul. But perhaps the real problem here, is precisely that you don’t know her.”

That might be true, but even so, what the hell difference did that make to his current circumstances?

“I don’t want to know her! She’s the reason we got stranded here in the first place, something I could’ve forgiven her for, had she not already been the bane of my existence even before all this happened. And now you’re telling me that because of her, I’ll never see my family again?! My daught-…”

His voice broke and his head fell forwards into his suddenly trembling hands, and he could feel his powers stir with the pain in his heart. This was too much. He needed to be alone, or he might hurt someone. He turned back around and started running through the jungle with no goal or destination, just an unbearable weight threatening to bury him if he stopped.

<><><><><>

When you woke up again, you felt more normal. Your head was working properly enough to inform you that it was morning, based on the sun’s position, and that you were no longer a human lightning rod. Your body felt exactly as it always did, albeit a bit weaker. Which, if you really had been as bad as you thought, would mean you’d made a downright miraculous recovery. You sat up, quickly grabbing the top of a small blanket that fell down your undressed chest as you did, and looking around awkwardly. There were people all around the open area surrounding the waterfall, and a small camp seemed to have been established while you slept, and you were somewhat perplexed to notice that you seemed to be the centre of it. A single row of medium sized rocks laid out in an oval shape, surrounded you, only a couple of feet from your body, and all the little campfires and people sitting around them, presumably making breakfast, were facing you. As if you’d been the centre stage of a concert. Thankfully, they all seemed preoccupied with their food, laughing and talking in a foreign language. Hawaiian, if your memory was indeed a memory and not just some trippy dream. You wanted to get up and leave the exposing little stage, but you were apparently completely naked underneath the blanket, and you weren’t sure how to get up with any dignity intact since the fabric only just covered your front.

“Welcome back, Mana. You gave us quite a challenge.”

A gorgeous honey-skinned woman, maybe five years younger than you with the curves of a goddess, suddenly kneeled in front of you, a warm and genuine smile on her lips. You were so stunned by her beauty that it took you a moment to realise what she’d said.

“Wha… Sorry, I don’t understand what’s happening.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll answer all your questions, but perhaps you’d like to get dressed first?”

You hugged the blanket a little closer to your chest.

“Yes, please.”

She chuckled and unfolded a garment she’d been holding in her hand that you’d somehow missed, which she draped over your back and held in place while you stood up.

“My name is Nani.”

“Thank you, Nani.”

“No problem. But you don’t need to worry about the men of the tribe, we see each other naked all the time, it’s nothing special to us. Touching each other – that’s where things get special here, and no one does that without permission.”

“Good to know, but I’m still not used to being naked in front of two dozen guys.”

“That’s okay. We gave up on clothes long ago, since it’s not possible to grow cotton here, nor any silkworms or sheep around. But we didn’t throw yours away, we just took them to clean and mend. That’s quite a few cuts you have.”

You looked down on your arm where you knew there was a bigger gash, only to find it nearly healed. Still red and a bit sore, but significantly better than when you last saw it.

“More like ‘had’. How long was I out?”

“Almost four days.”

“Oh… Did I wake up at any point? I have this really weird memory...”

“You did, last night. And the strange energy you felt comes from a very potent flower which we mixed into the oil that we rubbed over your body to help the healing process.”

You’d reached the elderly woman that was working on your clothes by then, and she gestured for you both to have a seat since she wasn’t quite finished. Nani helped you stay covered while you made your way to the ground, before sitting down next to you, opposite the lady.

“We watched you and your friend climb up here, and we saw how bad your condition was, so we gathered everyone and prepared everything. We would’ve intervened sooner, but for some reason, the Gods seem more favourable whenever we reach out to them over a soul that is already passing, rather than merely ill.”

You weren’t a religious person, but you knew better than to disrespect or belittle those that were. In truth, a part of you envied them their faith. The comfort of believing that a powerful entity was always with them, that they were never alone, that there was always someone they could lean on. You were the sort of person that was always alone, even in a crowd, or among colleagues.

“How did you bring me back?”

“We sang to Kãne and Kanaloa, the Gods of life and the ocean, praying for your soul to be restored, and they answered. They healed your lungs and set the rest of your body on the right track again, with a little help from us. When I said that you gave us a challenge, what I meant was that it took two days of prayers before you accepted life again.”

You weren’t ready to believe that any deity had healed you, when you knew that there were humans who possessed that kind of power, in the world. It was more likely, to you, that one of these people had some sort of healing ability, but either didn’t know about it, or chose to believe that their power came from their Gods. It didn’t matter. One way or another, these people had saved you.

“I don’t know how to thank you…”

Right then, the old lady handed you your clothes, and when you tried to thank her, she just stood up and left.

“Did I say something wrong?”

“No, don’t worry, she’s deaf. She’s also that kind of person that just doesn’t give a rat’s ass, you know?”

That made you smile; you loved those kinds of old ladies. Once you were dressed again you felt a lot more comfortable and more in your element, while Nani showed you around the camp and introduced you to her friends, which reminded you…

“Oh, shit, I completely forgot about Marcus! Is he okay?”

“I think so. He went up the mountain the day before yesterday and we haven’t seen him since, but Akela said to let him be.”

“Up the mountain? Where?”

“Mana, if the Chief said to leave him alone then I think you should listen.”

“I just wanna check that he’s okay. And I have to thank him too.”

She sighed but showed you to the path that would lead you up to him, and you half ran up there, relishing in the restored strength of your body and the feeling of your lungs as they brimmed with air. You found him sitting at the edge of an outcrop, just staring blankly out over the island, which was apparently a lot bigger than you’d thought, and quite scary looking for the most part. For once you didn’t feel suspicious or annoyed at the sight of him, even if what you did feel was less joyous and more peaceful.

“You’re not thinking of jumping, are you?”

He twitched just a fraction in surprise but didn’t turn around to look at you.

“Why? Would you miss me?”

“Sure. I mean, all those people down there seem really nice, so who am I gonna argue with without you?”

“You really don’t wanna do this right now, Pita.”

If you’d been in your ordinary mindset, you might’ve clocked the very real warning in his voice, but all you really heard was that damn nickname, and it made your mood sour in an instant.

“If you don’t want me to snap at you then don’t call me a pain in the ass.”

He was suddenly on his feet and coming at you, looking absolutely furious. You’d seen every nuance of his annoyance and most levels of his anger, but this was well beyond anything you would’ve believed a man like him capable of. He looked so dangerous that your body was reacting, readying to defend itself, or flee, if need be.

“I’ll call you worse than that if you prefer, maldita!”

You were too stunned to respond, instinctively taking a step back just before he finally stopped, mere inches away from you. But his eyes were pitch black as they bored into yours and you could feel a tremor in the ground and even the very air around you, from the sheer force of his electromagnetic powers.

“You just had to… you couldn’t just keep your mouth shut, for one fucking flight!”

“Marcus…”

“What the hell did I ever do to you?! Tell me! Because I have no idea how I could possibly have hurt you enough to deserve this!”

He was rapidly losing all control over his powers, and now even the trees around you were being bent away from him, cracking and snapping as their trunks were being pushed past their limits. He was filling the atmosphere with so much energy that it was becoming tangible, and it felt like you were about to be hit by lightning. Your mouth had gone dry, and your body was shaking with fear. You couldn’t answer him, and even if you could have, you didn’t understand where this rage was coming from. When he spoke again, he was no longer screaming, but that was even worse because now his voice was so dark it could’ve been a tiger growling at you.

“You always wanted me to be the bad guy, right? Well, are you happy now… Pita?”

You had to speak. You had to understand what the hell was going on, so you forced your dry throat to obey.

“I don’t understand…”

“What? You were too busy making friends down there that you didn’t even bother to ask why they’re here? Why this fucking island is hidden? Do you even care?”

You hadn’t thought to ask those things, no. But that was hardly strange.

“I’ve been a little preoccupied with trying to grasp that I’m alive when I shouldn’t be.”

“Of course, because why would you think about anyone else?”

That really hurt. You worked in security, for fuck’s sake, all you did was think about everyone else, all day every day. But there was no point in telling him that, he wouldn’t even hear you in this state, so instead you turned around and walked away from him. That was a mistake. You felt his power envelop you, felt the energy pulsing like waves just under your skin, right before you became weightless, lifted into the air and shoved backwards over his head and out past the cliff until you were dangling in mid-air, hundreds of feet above the ground. Your heart pounded like a rabbit’s, behind your ribs, and a cold sweat broke out all over your skin. Instinctively, you tried not to move, as though you were standing on glass, even though you knew that it was pointless. If he chose to drop you, there was nothing you could do about it. He stalked closer to the edge, moving stiffly with the effort it took to hold you like this.

“If you’d bothered to ask, you would’ve learned that we are never getting off this island. Which means my daughter is gonna grow up all alone… …because of you…”

Suddenly you understood. Only a parent could feel this kind of rage. Only a parent would succumb to the anger like this, in their desperation to find strength, to have something to hold on to when their child was lost to them. You didn’t doubt for a second that he was telling you the truth. Whatever he’d learned while you were healing, he believed with absolute conviction that he was never going to see his daughter again. And even though you disagreed about being the only reason you’d gotten stranded there, even though he was just as much to blame in your eyes, you couldn’t tell him that. You couldn’t tell a father that you thought that he was equally responsible for orphaning his own child. That would be monstrous. But that left you with only one path to take: surrender. You took your eyes away from him, letting your gaze fall to the ground, so far beneath you. The fall wouldn’t be pleasant, but at least it would be quick.

“You’re right. It’s my fault. You never did anything to me… it’s all my fault.”

His rage only increased, just as you’d expected. You knew he would think that you were insincere, playing some angle to try and get him off balance, trying to save yourself. But the harsh truth was that he never had done anything to you. He was now, though. He pushed you twice as far up in the air and let you hang there for a few seconds. You looked at the world around you, the glimmering ocean stretching as far as you could see, the pearly white sandy beaches of the island, the bright sun above… And then he let you go.

—————

Link to Chapter 4

Thank you for reading, and I’d love to know what you thought :) My tag list is always open. Have a wonderful day/night!

@deadhumourist @idreamofboobear @bison-writes @dornish-queen @ladyphantom96 @sarahjkl82-blog @shsoba05 @cannedsoupsucks @toomanystoriessolittletime @tintinn16 @nolanell @prostitute-robot-from-the-future

[dreamingsnowflake2013]

Nakyum has his own AU where he allows himself to love Seungho openly to hs heart's content! Proving that it costs him all his willpower not to laugh and hold Seungho each time he sees him.

Nakyum not only acknowledges that he's already given his heart to Seungho (when he leaned in for the kiss he was only following his heart), but also that he feels loved  by Seungho, having his love reciprocated is a first time for him, and that Seungho is his last love and no one can compare.

Nakyum is hugging Seungho's duvet, imagining it's his lover, using it as a substitute for him, dry humping his itty bitty hips against it, fantasizing they are between Seungho's muscular thighs, his groins against Seungho's, and he's being enveloped in his strong but gentle embrace. Inhaling Seungho's lingering scent, imagining his powerful body moving under him and his skillful tongue inside him,... just the mere thought and fantasy of it makes Nakyum's tippy toes curl in pleasure.

The reality is such a stark contrast to Nakyum's fantasies and his memories of Seungho's earlier gentle lovemaking. No more loving and playful eyes and smiles, Seungho doesn't allow him to see his face, the whole time.

This is a genuine mental illness caused by Seungho's unresolved trauma. It's like he is in a daze, completely out of control, when he can't think. It's like a fit and seizure during which he doesn't merely hurt others but himself, as well. That's the real tragedy of it. His only thought is to get rid of this pain the only way he can and which worked in the past. Just look how convulsively he holds Nakyum, like he has spasms. It might seem like 10 steps back, but unlike when he hurt Nakyum in the past, this is something outside of Seungho's control.

It's a trance-like state where Seungho can't feel Nakyum's touch or hear his voice, his mind's completely blank, all he comprehends is the need to seek relief and comfort the only way he knows, except for opium, so much that he doesn't allow Nakyum participation, which Seungho always craved, only submission.  His father's message always triggers Seungho and sends him spiraling and instinctively seeking comfort in Nakyum, clinging onto him for dear life.

This is a man whose mental illness has never been cured or properly treated. You don't need a PhD in clinical psychiatry to see it.What could have even healed him? Herbal medicine? Shamanism? Functional family and healthy friendships he doesn't have? Or the therapy that doesn't exist?

In the past, it only took a mere touch from Nakyum and Seungho stopped immediately,not now. It's not because he would change his mind out of nowhere, after months of restrain and being tame as a lamb,he CAN'T even change his mind because he isn't in control of it, showing it's not deliberate.

When the veil of madness and pain falls from his eyes, Seungho wakes up from his stupor and, horrified, realizes what he's done and fucked up. How he broke his promise not only to Nakyum but to himself, thinking he broke Nakyum's trust and hurt him and that his lover lies under him silent and unresponsive.

Just like with Seungho, we never see Nakyum's expression during the sex scene, except for one panel. So the biggest cliffhanger is whether Seungho has really hurt him, leading to a lost of trust, or if it's merely a shock at the rough and sudden sex, while he’s enjoying himself hidden from the readers’ view, and Seungho may end up more frightened by it than Nakyum.

This is a perfect example how a great author can create an explixit sex scene without it being gratuitous to tell, explore and develop the story and a relationship. It's ambiguous and the readers have a limited POV since a lot is hidden from them, including the character's expressions. How it will end? Will the fact that Byeonduck showed Nakyum being horny and fingering himself, thus being prepared to some extent when Seungho entered him, and him saying 'wait', instead of 'stop' play a role? Or will everything go down the drain and back to square one again? Also, Nakyum's tears has been proven to be an extremely unreliable hint considering he cries even when he's enjoying the sex. This episode contains hints which support both theories.

What strikes me the most about this particular spoiler picture after episode 81 is not the snot (suggesting it might be Nakyum), but the blush on the cheek. People don't blush when they are scared or disappointed so it's possible episode 82 won't go the way some people think it might.

[i-cant-sing]

You said you go feral for Yan! Erasermic (me too), so what about them with a darling with a disability/chronic pain like EDS or arthritis where some days, like after a particularly long day on their feet or a cold or rainy day, they can barely move because of the resulting strain on their joints? (Maybe a little bit of self projection in this one oops)

Pain: Yandere! Erasermic

(wow what a unique title. Everyone give 1 clap for me)

Hey, thank you so much for requesting. I'm so glad you all liked my previous Erasermic post. I still have another Erasermic request and 2 others. So idk what self projection is but I tried to do it after looking it up. If I didn't hit the mark, please do tell me so I know what it is for future posts. Also, I read up a bit on EDS for this one. Hope you enjoy! :)

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

Yandere! Erasermic:

Once again, one of the best yanderes to be with.

They have read about your condition, consulted various doctors. They probably know more about it than you do, and you were born with it.

Speaking of doctors, they'll get you the best treatment available. The medicine cabinet is full of expensive drugs, legal and illegal ones too if they help you with the pain. Who's going to do a drug bust on the nations top pro heroes?

And while medicines are effective, they do have side effects as well. Which is why Hizashi will also be looking up all sorts herbal medicines. Often giving you his homemade special herbal mixed teas.

Aizawa wouldn't let you out of bed, insisting you rest. He'll often either use his scarf or put a weighted blanket on you, just to ensure you wouldn't get out of bed. He'll either get you things you need or pick you up and take you wherever you have to go.

During winters, they will be super reluctant to let you out of the house. They know what the cold does to your joints. If you absolutely do have to go, they'll go with you in a heated car, and you're wrapped up in layers, almost making you suffocate in them. Even during other seasons, if there is even a light breeze, they will quickly get you their coat or jackets or better yet, you all cuddle up to share the body heat.

Massages and cuddles. Big time. You'll always be between them, Aizawa towards your back, rubbing your lower back to release the knots in your back, and Hizashi in front of you, showering you in kisses.

They're always so gentle with you, both in and out of bed. They know that your skin bruises up easily, so they're always extra careful with their touches.

And while they do know that your disease has you in agony, they can't help but be happy internally. They love how you're dependant on them; even for things you can do yourself, they won't allow you to. And how often you praise them with such beautiful words and thank them with such unforgettable memories.

If you have a job, especially one that makes you leave home, you need to forget about it. They'll be continuously telling you to quit your job; that they are more than happy to provide for you. If you really do love your job, you better not complain about the pain, because once even a whimper escapes your lips, they'll hand in your resignation on your behalf and won't listen to anything you say.

You walked home from the bus stop. A bad decision really, considering you already had a massive headache at work. And now you walked home, and even though the your home wasn't far, your feet were aching badly. You felt like your kneecaps were going to twist out of position any moment. You could've asked Aizawa or Hizashi to drive you home but you didn't want to bother them. After all, they are pro heroes.

Once you finally got home, you were greeted by Hizashi. "Hey dove! You're just in time. I made your favourite today! Why don't you go freshen up! Shou will be home any minute!" You nodded, not even having the energy to speak, and went upstairs to your room. Your head felt like it was going to explode. You sat down on the bed and started massaging your temples to relive some pain. You groaned slightly as your cold hands touched your forehead, your eyes screwed shut. Suddenly, your cold hands were pulled away and were replaced by rough, warm hands. You didn't have to open your eyes to know it was Shouta. He started massaging your head, knowing exactly where to put pressure, finally giving you some relief. "Feeling better?"he asked. You opened your eyes, smiling gratefully at him. "Yeah. Sorry for worrying yo-" He cut you off by pressing a kiss to your forehead. "You didn't. Why didn't you ask me or Hizashi to pick you up?" "I didn't want to bother you guys." You replied. "Nonsense. You know you can ask us for anything." He said, almost sounding like he was admonishing you. He sighed, quickly picking you up and walking towards the bathroom. "Your feet must be killing you too. Let's take a bath first." "But Hizashi already made dinner. We should go eat-"you were interrupted, this time by your other boyfriend. "I can heat it up again. Your muscles must be sore. I'll run a hot bath for us." He said, before plugging in the bathtub and turning on the knob, and pouring in some essential oils and bath salts. "Thank you" you said to both of them. They smiled at you. Once the bath was ready, they helped you out of your clothes before taking off their own. Aizawa helped you into the large to bathtub, your back against his chest as Hizashi sat on the other side of the tub, effectively trapping you between their legs.

Bath time was everyone's favourite time, especially yours. Aizawa would always give a relaxing massage to your shoulders, kissing your forehead with your body pulled flushed against him. Hizashi would rub your feet with such expertise; always managing to get some sinful noises from you. "Tough day at work?" Hizashi asked. You already knew what was coming. "No. I'm fine really. Just a bit tired is all" Shou tutted at you "you know better than to lie to us. Tell us how you're really feeling."he said, his tone turning serious. You sighed, "seriously, I am fine. Just had a small headache. Nothing to worry about." "When it concerns you, everything is worrisome for us. Especially when you hide your pain" Hizashi said, his brows furrowed in genuine concern, making you feel guilty. "You should quit your job." Shou said, kissing your earlobe. "But I don't want to. I really do like my job-" you tried to say but Hizashi cuts you off "yeah. She should just stay at home and rest. Her health is getting worse, you know" "it's really not-" again you were cut off, this time by Aizawa. "I agree. I just don't feel at ease when she's out of the house. I'll talk to her boss tomorrow and explain why she won't be returning home anytime soon." "What? No-" you hated how they talked about you like you weren't even there; this was just the one habit you hated about them. Hizashi nodded this time, running a hand through his hair "yeah. And if you go in person, I'm sure they won't even ask her to put in a 2 weeks notice-" "NO!"Finally, your outburst had got them to pay attention to you. "Hey whats wrong?" Hizashi asked, running a hand over your thigh. "I just- I just don't want to leave my job. I know you guys are only saying this because you love me but I like my job. I like working there. And I know you guys are more than capable of taking care of my expenses as well, but I just hate being dependent on my boyfriends for everything. I am very grateful to both of you, but I don't like being a burden on you guys." You said, your cheeks flushed with embarrassment and your eyes filled with tears. Your headache returned again; you didn't like to argue with them. Sensing your discomfort, Shouta started to rub your temples again, kissing your neck and apologising for distressing you. Hizashi pulled himself towards you and wiped the tears away from your eyes, also apologising. "Oh we are so sorry for making you feel like this. You're not a burden to us. We love doing these things for you princess. We do, believe me." Shou nodded before speaking "of course, its your life. You're going to ultimately make all of your decisions. We're just worried about you. We don't want you to strain yourself, kitten." Now you started to feel bad, "no- no its okay. I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have reacted this way. I know you both love me and care about me a lot. I just hope you understand where I'm coming from." You said to them, your eyelashes heavy with tears. "We know. We know you love us just as much we love you. Let's just forget about this topic and go eat some dinner, yeah?" Hizashi said, before getting out of the tub and helping you out. "Yeah. I am feeling a lot better. Thank you both" you said, kissing them. "Thats good to know. However, I feel like you should take a few days off work. Just to be safe" Aizawa said, handing you both a towel each. "Yeah. I could use a break too. And Shou you should take tomorrow off as well. You need to catch up on some sleep." Hizashi said, helping you into your clothes. You didn't want to argue anymore so you agreed "okay. But only if Shou stays home too." Aizawa kissed your cheek and smiled "sure. Just have to run one errand in the morning and I'll be back before you know it." You nodded before all of you went down to eat, not knowing that the "errand" would be ensuring that you get fired from your job.

Hope you all liked this one! Please do tell me if I did it right. Did I get what you were asking for? Also requests are open! :)

[ncssian]

if i can’t have love, i want power (ii)

link to part one

cw: idk bro it’s nesta being so depressed she turns into a villain so anything other than depictions of SA and suicide is free real estate

Part Two: Whispers

Before

Everyone had told Nesta that her wedding day would be the happiest day of her life. They had been right, for every day after Nesta’s wedding was less and less happy, until she no longer recognized herself or her marriage.

She didn’t have any proof that he didn’t love her. It was more like a voice in the corner of her mind, a voice that spoke up every time Cassian looked at Morrigan instead of her, or laughed at Feyre’s witty comments in a way he never laughed with her.

For every day that passed, that voice in her head seemed to ring more and more truthful. It also seemed more and more loud, to the point that nearly every waking moment was characterized by the most miserable shouts: Remember how they lied to you, remember how he never apologized, remember how she whispered secret jokes into his ear while you were standing right in front of them—

She could survive if nobody loved her, she told herself. Even if Cassian couldn’t be the husband she needed and his family couldn’t be the friends she needed, she would live just fine.

But she didn’t know how she could go on without the one thing she wanted most: a child to call her own.

By the eleventh month of trying and failing to conceive, hopelessness was starting to set in. Neither her nor Cassian would say it aloud, but it weighed heavy in the air every time they went to bed. The possibility that she was barren.

She’d always been a failure in many aspects, as Amren liked to remind her, but never had she been prepared for her body to be a failure as well. It was humiliating. Demoralizing. Every other woman could do it, but she couldn’t.

So when Feyre and Rhysand announced that they were with child at dinner one night, Nesta had to get up and excuse herself from the room.

Once she finally broke, there was no going back. The first spilled tear was like a crack in a dam, and she barely made it back to her and Cassian’s bedroom without her sobs echoing through the stone halls of the palace.

Cassian found her curled up before the hearth not long after that, her pained cries still wracking every bone in her body. But Cassian had never been one for words, so he could only leave the room and come back holding a tonic. “It’s for sleep.” He nudged the vial toward Nesta, imploring her to lift her head and take it. He knew that once she started crying, she was unlikely to stop. It was as if for every good day she had, two days’ worth of tears were bottled up and hidden away.

So he stroked her hair, rubbed her shoulder blades, and whispered meaningless assurances until she had the strength to lift her head from her arms. And then he helped tip the vial of herbal tonic down her throat.

He probably didn’t expect Nesta to take the tonic again the next night, and the night after that. He probably didn’t expect her to get a stronger prescription once the original medicine ran out, nor did he expect her to become addicted to the sweet numbness of the root-based remedy.

When she was numb, she couldn’t hear the cruel voice in her head. It wasn’t exactly bliss, but it was a relief. Even more so when she discovered that crushing the roots and herbs into a powder made the medicinal effect more potent than liquid.

No one knew that the bejeweled cross necklace that always sat heavily atop Nesta’s breasts was for anything more than decoration. Inside the hollowed out pendant sat enough herbal powder to send her into a coma—not that she would ever consider such a thing.

After

Bells rang throughout Velaris for seven days and seven nights to announce the heir to the kingdom’s throne: a tiny little thing called Nyx.

“He looks just like you,” Nesta hummed to her overjoyed sister, who couldn’t stop tugging at her babe’s little hands and feet.

“Does he really?” Feyre said with excitement. “Everyone says the opposite.”

Reaching out to stroke her sister’s hair, Nesta offered her a sweet smile. “May you die before he does.” It was a common blessing of longevity, a prayer that the child would live to adulthood in a world where few children ever did.

The perfect heir, she thought as she watched the babe writhe in Feyre’s arms. A son that would carry his father’s legacy of cruelty and kindness in the same breath, conquering new lands every day while claiming that it was the only way to salvation.

Nesta’s hand drifted to the cross at her chest, her thumb finding the top that could be unscrewed and removed. It still carried enough powder to send a grown man into a coma, though she hadn’t ingested the stuff in months.

A pinch of it would be seeing Feyre’s wine tonight, though.

Nesta still heard the voice every day, but she no longer shunned it away. She was no longer afraid of the truth.

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